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My partner purchased an AI transcriber that helps him remember things and manage his ADHD. He wants to wear it all the time. He works in the tech industry, I’m a creative type, educator and a critical thinker. I feel really uncomfortable with an AI tool being introduced into our relationship without him asking me. AM I overreacting? I feel I should be asked if I’m comfortable with our conversations being recorded. It makes me feel weird that he hasn’t even asked me but I know it’s his computer brain. Is it crazy I feel I should be asked for consent, HALP !?!?!?!

Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (94% confidence)

Top comment: “Absolutely not over reacting”

Notable comment: “NOR. It's a bit creepy that he wants to record everything. I'd not be surprised if the motivation here is simply that he has a new toy and wants to use it test what it can do. But if doesn't take into account how his experiments with the new toy affect others then he's being self-centered and that to me is a red flag. Your feelings on the matter should be very important to him if he values the relationship.

If you are in the U.S., what he's doing may be illegal. In some states it is illegal to record conversations unless ALL parties to the conversation are informed of it and agree to it. If you are in one of those states, you could take the position of clearly telling him you don't consent to any recording of you and warn him that you have no problem reporting it to the police if it continues. Don't let him sucker you into feeling bad by falling back on the old trick "don't you trust me? I'd never do anything to hurt you". If things go bad in the relationship later, you can bet he'd use any of it that he can to attempt to get what he wants from you.”

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Vietnamese woman wearing a nón ba tầm hat in Haiphong, Vietnam

AIO about wearing used boots?

So I've been wanting a pair of Doc Martens for a long time, they're an extremely cool looking boot and I think they look great with many outfits. The problem is they're expensive, and buying a brand new pair would be tough on my wallet.

However, my colleague at the work heard me mention this, and told me that she just got a new pair of Docs and that I could have her old ones for free (I'm an average-height Asian man and she's a taller white woman who does modelling, so we've joked before about how we actually wear the same shoe size).

For me this was amazing, I've wanted Docs for a long time so I jumped at the opportunity and they fit me perfectly. Arguably the most comfortable boots I've ever owned. I even think the used/'beat up' look makes Docs look cooler as it gives them more personality.

But when I came home my roommate made a big deal about how wearing used boots is 'disgusting' and 'unsanitary', and it just got me in my own head. Just like me, he grew up in an Asian household where cleanliness around footwear was pretty strict (things like never wearing outdoor shoes indoors, etc.), but I personally didn't have an issue with it until he mentioned it. I even told him my colleague does modeling and takes her hygiene seriously, but he still thinks it's disgusting.

I've just been torn about it because like I said, I've wanted a pair of Docs for a long time so these made me really happy, but he just keeps giving them a glance of disgust every time he walks by our shoe rack and it honestly just has me wanting to avoid wearing them altogether. I thought about changing the insole to make them 'less unsanitary' but they fit me so perfectly right now that I don't even feel like I really need to, if anything that would just make them less comfortable.

So I just wanted to ask you all for your opinion, am I overreacting about wearing used boots?

Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (94% confidence)

Top comment: “NOR. Docs are known for being better as they get older and being great bought second hand. You can buy a boot cleaning/mini repair kit online if you want them to look cleaner. Your roommate is an idiot and crazy.”

Notable explanation: “NOR - It'd be a waste to throw them away, there's stuff you can do to make them nicer again if necessary.”

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Had my mom at the oncologist today and the person doing the scheduling for several procedures and referrals at checkout was wearing meta glasses. Feels like a hipaa violation waiting to happen.

I was definitely weirded out by it and I’m wondering if I should say something. Not sure how I would even go about submitting a complaint or telling them my concerns. AIO?

Edit - thanks all. I’ve contacted the privacy compliance officer and patient care advocate. I will be shocked if they don’t have a policy about this, but if they don’t, maybe this will encourage a change.

Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (96% confidence)

Top comment: “No, I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. Reach out to the hospital administrative staff, or even your local health board. Even if the glasses only create anxiety about PPI being leaked and aren’t actually recording, that inhibits a patient’s ability to be open and honest with their provider and ultimately makes it harder for the patient to receive thorough and effective treatment. NOR”

Notable comment: “NOR, I am a researcher and one of the modalities our subjects can use is a set of glasses that takes pictures at certain times in the day, and even though it's not "always on" we don't even let people who work in medical settings choose that modality for the study just because it *might* make it *look like* it's *maybe* recording, even though we are confident it is not. It's just not something you mess with.

One person who was allowed to use the glasses camera then had to opt out because he's a *patient* at a physical therapy clinic where he could presumably be in a "workout room" with other patients doing therapies, so he wasn't allowed to wear them into his appointments. Good on that clinic for bringing it up to him; it's important to consider how other patients wearing these types of things are going to interfere with privacy. If you're at, I don't know, a fertility clinic or getting an abortion or at an STD testing site and you walk in the hall past someone else on the way to your exam room and they have glasses that are possibly recording you? So many problems waiting to happen with these glasses.”

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