i would die for the dallas stars

Interviews with hockey players are fantastic, because it is a complex game that can be spoken about at length, but during the intermission they'll find the Wettest player imaginable on the losing team and for thirty seconds they'll ask them things like "what do you need to do to get more pucks in the net?" And the player (panting, haunted behind the eyes) says something like "well, we've got to get them in there"

sports are insane. i just know a bunch of people now. nobody should know the names of this many people

being asked “oh you’re a hockey fan?” in real life feels reductive somehow. like ok yes i watch hockey but there’s also other things wrong with me

im sorry to the leafs fans who are also reblogging this im sure ur lovely but i think whats wrong with you is maybe different

ok ill bite. whats hockey

i think about that "the pop girlies yearn for espn" tweet a lot because like. everyone is so obsessed with stats now wrt music and like. sports is the ultimate stat play. there's stats about stats in sports. they make up new stats every single weekend in the nfl. "first player since the reagan administration born in the western part of the united states to throw for 25 touchdowns over 10 yards" "first player in the super bowl era to have a twin" like they just pull shit out of their asses for the sake of it and i think people obsessed with charts and sales would LOVE the nfl.

Wouldn't it be funny if I held the cursed Amulet for a bit? Like as a joke?

Apparently something has happened to the Toronto Maple Leafs

[ID: tweet by tyler seguin from july 6, 2013. it says "Only steers and queers in Texas, and I'm not a cow." end ID.]