Wow. Okay.

“You just deserve better than I will ever be able to give you. You deserve everything this world has to offer you and I'll only stand in the way of that. I love you too much to be your downfall, to be the reason you are stuck in this town for the rest of your life Baby Doll.” he said and before you could even think of a response, think to tell him how none of that mattered if he was by your side or how you would get out of there together one day, he kissed your forehead and turned to walk away. Not just away but out of your life completely. In the following days he proceeded to stop hanging out with your mutual friends at the same time as you, Then he started avoiding parties or events he knew you would possibly be at. Then he stopped showing up to his usual hang outs, and you couldn't decide if it was because being there without you was to hard for him or if he had somehow just grown to completely despise the thought of you or the possibility of your presence, but four months? Four months of avoiding you. Four long, lonely months. And the worst part is you miss him no less now than you did the moment he walked away. The thought of him and all the memories you share eating away at your brain. Constantly thinking of the ways you could have been better, kept him from leaving, made him understand that without him you don't even really know who you are any more. Now you're just lost, taking on your life one day at a time. You honestly have only been able to deal with it by staying stoned 80 percent of the day, the other 20 percent being made up of the small amount of sleep you are able to get. 

That's when you noticed something not as familiar on the picnic table, someone had carved three little lines next to the heart. They almost resembled tally marks. They looked fresh, but you couldn’t figure out what they were supposed to belong to, or why the person that scratched them into the table couldn’t have just moved them an inch more away. For some reason it almost felt intentional, like the person had put them too close on purpose just to hurt you more. Taking a seat at the table you trace the lines with your cold fingertips. You decide this was a good enough place as any to smoke the joint you had rolled for your walk. Maybe you subconsciously knew this was going to be a longer walk than you had thought and maybe even that it would indeed lead you here. You light your coping mechanism and let the smoke fill your lungs, after a few puffs you feel your body start to relax and the tension begin to leave you. This is the only real relief you get nowadays. A few more puffs and you lay your head down, finger still tracing the scratch marks. 

You must have been tired because the next thing you know you're waking up head still on the table, hand covering the small black heart. You aren’t sure how long you had been there but the sun was just starting to set, but what you did know is that you were freezing, pretty much sober and alone. Or maybe not as alone as you thought. You realize you were woken by the sound of leaves crunching. Someone was coming, probably just some teenagers looking for a place to smoke or get drunk. Maybe they will see you, realize that the place is taken, and leave you be. Or maybe it's a serial killer here to put you out of your misery, either way you didn’t lift your head. At least not until you realized that the crunching had stopped. You could feel the presence of someone like they were staring at you. After a few more seconds of feeling as though you were being stared at by some stranger you decide to speak up.

“You know it's pretty freaky to just stare at a girl in the woods without at least making yourself known.” You say with as much backbone as you could muster to let the person know you weren’t to be fucked with but still refusing to lift your head from the table. Fingers still tracing the heart that once was a testament to the love you thought you weren’t meant to find, guess you were right. After a few more seconds of deafening silence you hear a rather loud sigh from behind you. 

“Well what else would you expect from ‘The Freak’ of Hawkins Baby Doll?” the all too familiar voice says with the first hint of warmth you have felt in what might as well have been years. 

You jolted up to see the man you once thought to be the love of your life, who now just feels like a stranger standing before you. He was just as beautiful to you as he ever was, But his big brown eyes stared at you like his world was crumbling before him, but he still wore a smile on his face that could warm even the coldest bones in the winter. Are you still dreaming? You get up from the table, legs half asleep but the tingle helps to ground you. You look up at him again but can’t seem to figure out what is going through his head like you had always been able to do before. You go to take a step but your legs all but give out from under you, but before your face kisses the dirt you feel familiar arms grab your waist and pull you in. They were strong and warm, and a comfort you had been needing even more than you had realized and then you realize he must have been needing it too because what had started as an act of rescue was going on longer than it typically should have. It was tighter, kinder than it would have been between two strangers. Maybe that is because you weren’t really strangers no matter how distant he had felt, back in his arms even for just a moment feels like the past four months was just a horrible nightmare. Was he finally here to end all the pain? 

The next thing out of his mouth proves that was exactly what he intended to do. 

His face still buried in your neck, arms so tight around your waist it was almost as if he was scared that if he let go you would vanish into thin air. “I am so so sorry. I thought it was for the best, I thought I could save you from a shitty life in a trailer park, but I now know it was the worst mistake I could have ever made. I spent months trying to separate myself from you. Trying to forget. Swear I smoked myself dumb the first few weeks just to try not to think about you. Your sweet taste on my tongue, the little noises you would make in your sleep, your breath on my neck when I would hold you. They haunted my every waking moment. And as I was walking up here I could just picture you here waiting for me with that beautiful smile spread across your face, and had to remind myself that wasn’t a possibility. You weren’t going to be here, not waiting for me, but then as I came around the bin there you were. Like my prayers had been answered. Like my own personal sleeping beauty just waiting to be kissed, but I would never do that. That would be creepy as fuck, but I’m sorry. I have loved you from the moment I saw you and I made a horrible mistake and I promise to never hut you again and I’m so fucking sorry Baby Doll.” You could tell he was anxious, he always rambles when he's anxious.  

All you could do was smile. All the sadness and tears shed didn’t seem to matter any more. Nothing mattered outside of this second right now. Having him with you meant everything was gonna be okay. 

“Eds?”

“Yes?” he questioned, voice full of anticipation. 

"Why are you even here?"

Eddie slowly pulls a pocket knife from his pocket and places it next to the black heart. "Every month on the anniversary of my worst mistake I come up here and mark the table. I know its stupid but it was one of the only ways I could still feel connected to you, and I couldn't give up everything." You could here the pain in his voice, he was being genuine.

"It's not stupid Eds. Though I do have one more question."

"Yeah?"

“Don’t you have to have some brains in there to smoke yourself stupid?” you question.

“I guess you got me there Sweetheart.” He said with a smile that spread to his eyes.