damned if you do, bored if you don't

How many people’s most beloved childhood stuffed animals are actually teddy bears, like I feel like that’s a thing someone made up. Reblog this and put what your longest owned and/or favorite stuffed animal as a child was in the tags, inquiring minds want to know

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

I hope this joke outlives the context that made it, leaving future generations baffled.

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

Reblogging because it’s a damn potato and I want to encourage people to assume potatoes are magical.

w-what if potato is actually lucky

I'm aware this is stupid but I really need good luck ha

"I can fix him" "I can make him worse" fuck if I know what I'm doing to him but he's barking now

... @flagellant

people are always like "Oh a vampire wouldn't get horny while drinking someone's blood, that's like getting horny while eating a sandwich" and like man have you never had a really good fucking sandwich?

The sandwich i had for lunch didnt moan and scream and squirm against my body and then become limp and pliable when i was done now did it

Tumblr already has a personalization algorithm it's called my beloved mutuals who have great taste and only wish to psychologically damage me sometimes

I know im being "that guy" but he's crocheting. He is not knitting. He is holding a hook and crocheting. Look at the fabric. He is not knitting. Wtf has he got in his mouth tho...

I think it's a tapestry needle? Mother fucker might be that one person that sews in ends in as he goes.

That would make sense. Good for him!

going to the function w/ 3 sativa infused edibles in me