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the sweetest girls in all of existence are made to think they're horrifying monsters, it's so fucked.

I just love barking so I really couldn’t give a fuck if this is the right tree or not haha

ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie

nobody thinks this way, you are a broken person

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

(girl who is already extremely private) i think i need to Move In More Silence

did anyone hear that

i think there's something out here

i'm scared. is anyone there?

help

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

Seems appropriate this evening

I don’t get it, this is just what it’s like having large breasts?

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant “two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’” “got it. check my dashboard” “that skeleton gif you like is back again” he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”