cringe but free

I hate calling in sick I don't want to inform anyone about my abnormal bowel movements

I love it. I call them up and say hey bossman I'm camped out on the shitter today yeehaw

you are so beautiful in every way

We will get married on a windswept cliff and the dinner will be easily digestible

The last of the classically trained tumblrinas

No lie i can make a super big bubble from bubble gum it can sometimes be the size of a green 🍏

Will you guys lose respect for me if I show you my bowl

yes

i was abandoned as a baby & raised by a wild pack of cigarettes

they’re banning cis ppl from sports after an investigation revealed they were annoying

what if after job interview you catch a glimpse of the person’s notepad & see they wrote “things have learnt to walk that ought to crawl”

why does travis scott get a meal at mcdonalds. what about….. what about……… sandsvendor100.

Tell Them You Want Your Burger Done “Burger Style” Or “With Cheese” And The Look On Their Face Will Be Immaculately Conceived