Cryptids

Now, every time I wake up about three am, knowing I have to get up at 6.45, instead of stressing and panicking about how my day is going to be sleep deprived and miserable, I just tell myself 'Time to activate Mythbusters Protocol' and lie there with my eyes closed safe in the knowledge that I am measurably reducing later feelings of exhaustion.

And when this happens, about 70% of the time the reduction of guilt and stress means I actually do fall back asleep, so all in all instead of getting only three or four hours sleep, I get five to six and a half.

does not want to be a dull

husk of a human.

this one has been passed around recently from the mayo clinic and that actually makes me so happy because how many of transfeminine people are aware of what their options even look like?

Clark and Bruce walk into the Batcave to discuss a JL investigation to find Kon in a containment cell, Jason, Dick, Tim, and Damian sitting crisscross on the floor besides him, while Stephanie stands at the entrance with a lead box in hand.

Clark: is that? kryptonite? What’s going on here?

Kon (in Tim’s body): Wassup bro

Bruce: bro?

Dick: Tim and Kon got their bodies switched by a magician

Clark: Should we call—

Damian: We aren’t imbeciles Clark. We’ve already contacted the wizards. The spell will expire in a day or two.

Bruce: Good work.

Clark: So? What are you guys doing?

Jason: We’ve had a bet going that kryptonians have weak pain tolerance and that’s why green kryptonite affects you guys so badly. cause your wusses.

Superman: So your.. gonna torture Tim to find out?

Stephanie: Not torture. Experiment.

Dick: We are trying to figure out where kryptonite exposure feels like on a scale of 1-10

Cass: Face Punch to waterboarding

Clark: ..

Dick: I have money on it being a solid 7

Jason: Tim and I put money on 5.

Clark: This is ridiculous. Tim get out of there. Stephanie bring me the Kryptonite.

Tim (in kons body): Nah this is completely consensual don’t worry, we have a safe word and everything. I’ve been waiting for a chance like this forever. No way am I gonna miss out.

Clark: Bruce, do something

Bruce: ..

Dick: *laughing* You forget who made us this way

Stephanie enters the containment cell and opens the box. Tim(in Kons body) stiffens for a moment, then takes a deep breath. He stands up and gets closer and closer to Stephanie, his breath getting a tiny bit more ragged as he eventually reaches over to close the box.

Jason: Well?

Tim: The pain is proportionate to its proximity. Initial exposure felt like a 4–broken ribs but steadily increased to a 6— full body electrocution as I grew closer. Nausea and a headache are also present symptoms.

Damian: Hmm. The effects have been greatly exaggerated. I assumed it would have felt like being set aflame.

Kon: In my defense, i’m technically only 4 years old.

Tim: We could probably work on you guys’ pain tolerance a bit with a red sun lamp to get you more accustomed to discomfort

Bruce, squinting at Clark: Hmm