I'll leave you be.

lower the retirement age to 3. im sick of this shit

What’s up with the fairly recent trend of leap years all being bad fucking years like 2008? Shit. 2012? Fucking shit. 2016? Absolute fucking shit. I’m just gonna predict 2020 is gonna be the Most Absolute Stinky Piece of Shit year to date

Date of Origin: July 3, 2018

I want to be the first person on the moon to shoot a sniper rifle at earth and hit a wasp nest.  my whole life so far is leading up to that moment

I know everyone’s seen this a million times, but it’s still SICK.

The origins of the mission status: sick image

cowboy hats are a magical girl item when you put one on you transform into a. cowboy

“this town… ain’t big enough for the both of us” i wheeze, coughing blood and struggling to stand, before suddenly whipping out my stetson and setting it on my head with a jaunty “yeehaw!” as a flash of blinding light engulfs me and an 80s anime remix of ‘country roads’ plays

I always wondered about this room. Where is it?

Whenever you notice something like that, a wizard did it.

And that’s the end of that mystery

why the simpsons got a bigger house than my parents

Homer is a nuclear engineer

This post made me realize that Homer is in fact a Nuclear engineer…

This is a common misconception! As the English usually kill their host, we’re actually parasitoids not true parasites!

now this is a correction i’ll stand for

Y'all can keep at it with that “Romeo and Juliet fell in love in five days how immature” shiz but Macbeth went from no murder to yes murder in like one afternoon and I feel like one of those is a significantly bigger problem than the other

In his defense his wife triple dog dared him and called him a pussy

They’re…. They’re scene