I'm always posting some faggot shit @therealdanacardinal - Tumblr Blog

Shane starting off his meltdown exit with “thank you for the tuna melt” is so funny like hey man sorry I’m about to break your heart and upend this fragile thing we’ve been building for years but first ☝🏻 thank you for the sandwich

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snowsmoked

When their baby is about a year old, Shane finds Ilya opening a package containing three toys - stuffed hockey skates, a little plastic hockey stick, and a little soft net.

“What are you doing?”

“We need to figure out what position our baby will play,” Ilya explained with a grin and pointed to each toy. “Defender, forward, goalie.”

“Why are skates defender? Everybody wears skates. And everyone has a stick.”

“Shh, Hollander.”

Shane watches and holds their baby, amused, as his husband carefully sets out the three toys. Ilya sits behind the line and tells Shane to put baby down.

Their baby toddles over and looks over the three toys. Even Shane is a bit interested now, like Ilya’s test will somehow determine their child’s future position.

Their baby reaches towards the middle one, the stick, but only to push it to the side to get to Ilya, crashing into his chest with a happy giggle.

“Oh,” Ilya breathed out, looking so incredibly soft as he wrapped his arms around the little one.

He looked up a Shane with misty eyes.

Shane came over and sat beside them. He kissed the baby’s head, “good choice.”

makingmeblue

i like the idea of the centaurs having a rival team too, but it’s completely one sided and they just sort of decided that they don’t like them a really long time ago and now no one really knows why.

ilya finds it fucking hilarious when he joins and is happy to join in with the mean spiritedness when they play against them. of course, the fact that he’s joined finally alerts this giant team of ottawa’s inexplicable hatred towards them, and they are so baffled like why is ilya rozanov tweeting about how much he hates us??

when shane joins he thinks it’s kinda silly and dumb and he just chalks it down to an inside joke he doesn’t really get but then, kinda out of nowhere, he develops genuine feelings about it.

they travel to the city to play a game against the team, he sees mugs with the team logo on and his lip curls in disgust. every time they score it infuriates him more than usual, and totally boils his blood. when they win he feels this bone deep satisfaction kind of like he feels when they win against montreal but without the heavy baggage. and he realizes that he genuinely, seriously hates that fucking team.

all of a sudden he’s the no. 1 rivalry enforcer. no we will not be going out tonight, we’re playing against [x team] in three weeks. are you wearing fucking green? as in [x team’s] color? are you fucking insane? no, ilya, we can’t name our kid that that’s the name of [x team’s] center’s daughter.

obviously ilya finds this hilarious, but it’s even funnier when shane gets out onto the ice, giving every single player on that team the most terrifying icy glare anyone’s ever received and they’re all just baffled bc wtf did we do?

tomb-mold

i could never be normal about anything. i dont have it in me

virginbandliker

thousands of words said

nobodylovesnoone213

PRETTY ART

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blorbo-posting

#@kay did you just call a promise a prommy?#I'm gonna hit you with a car

kirbystar7

I just be doing anything at this point

girlmostlikely

Imagine hating me when all I’ve ever done is be a hateful mean cruel spiteful fucking cunt to you

tinylilhollander

Ilya makes it his life's mission to make Shane realise just how hot he is so that he can live out his ultimate fantasy: He'll take Shane to a club where many men will flirt with him because he's ridiculously hot. And Shane will shamelessly flirt back because he knows he's ridiculously hot. And after a few hours where Ilya will get to drink and dance and watch many men try and fail to shoot their shot with the hottest man in the room, Ilya will walk straight up to Shane, kiss him in that way he knows makes Shane all soft and pliant and his. And then, throwing a shit-eating grin to all the disappointed men, he'll drag Shane home and fuck him any way Shane asks him to. Because he's the only one in the world who gets to.

rozanovshane

if you put harry potter on my dash you will be unfollow and blocked. have a day.

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gurlsrool

sometimes I see a picture of Shane and go “yaaaaay Shane :)” I call that microdosing being Ilya Rozanov

vaporwavecorp

3DS found with erosion and barnacles found while diving

dragon-in-a-fez

some octopus had 900 hours in Pokemon Alpha Sapphire and you just fuckin stole his 3DS

jenheadjen-deactivated20240221

Reverse Air Bud movie about a human basketball player who, on a technicality, enters and wins the westminster dog show

mutinsfromthemoon

shane and troy recorded a video for the centaurs official account trying to cook some recipe from bood’s family. the thing is they did the whole video in total silence, just saying something here and there like “can you pass the salt? thanks” “can you chop the vegetables? thanks”. then harris had the idea of having ilya narrate the video. but he had to redo the whole thing cus in the first footage, every time shane appeared on screen ilya would just start gushing for way too long about how competent and pretty his husband is.

cuppydogshane

I lowkey didn’t know men’s tits could be so squeezable and lickable and biteable until I watched heated rivalry

literally like bounce bounce...........

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ardri-na-bpiteog

no matter how normalised it gets I will die on the hill that it is rude to record strangers in public without their consent

chips1977

i heard my nephew got enslaved by cave bugs

uncleleoofficialfanclub

wait to post about this until you’ve confirmed it

chips1977

sorry

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I'm always posting some faggot shit