I'm always posting some faggot shit

imagine this heat and you roll over in bed an there’s some cunt there next to you. bruv id be inconsolable

Crucially #myshane plays to his twentieth season which is just long enough to have the experience of meeting Ottawa's new draft prospect, also named Shane, and to smile and jokingly say, "Hey nice name," and for the rookie to gulp and say, "Thank you sir I am named after you" and that makes Shane sit in his stall and stare at the floor between his skates for. Significantly too long to be healthy.

I do suffer the american condition of liking to drink huge drinks

i love clicking on somebody’s ao3 profile and seeing the most nonsensical collection of fandoms. like yess let's live a thousand lifetimes

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

Contrary to popular belief Ilya and Shane are an absolute pair of gossip hens. Nothing is more fun to them than wrapping up the FaceTime filth and then one of them saying “okay so can I be a bitch for a minute”

shane bagged ilya this. shane turned ilya into a wife that. WRONG. ilya locked himself down. that boy couldn't wait. he was marking down the days on the calendar. he put that leash in shane's hands. you love me back? GOOD. now you can finally see what loverboy3000 is really capable of hollander. you are not ready.

Don’t Twinkify my Shane but also don’t Dumbify my Ilya! He does not need a sex ban threat to pick up his socks, he knows Shane doesn’t like stuff on the floor. He does not eat McDonalds while shane cooks dinner. His goal in life is to be a good boyfriend and make his man happy and he is very good at it.

My Vegas breakdown is making the rounds again and I would like to remind people that DOM DROP is real and also Ilya Rozanov has no idea that it's happening to him. Yes Ilya is a mean dom, especially that night, but the cigarette and vodka conversation was not part of the scene and the reason he's choosing not to communicate in that moment is because he is fully in Dom drop and literally feels like he cannot communicate. Shane, sitting next to him, is fully in sub drop and ALSO feels like if he actually opens his mouth to ask for what he wants (Kisses) then he's going to throw up or ask for something insane. Also they're in love and hiding it badly. Also Ilya is going back to Russia in a matter of days. Also Shane has been feeling some version of chewed up and spat out for over six months at this point. They're not doing WELL. And they're not doing it to each other it's just. Happening.