Wanna Be My Glucose Guardian?

The three most important things about being a wizard is 1. Being an absolute cunt and 2. Having lots of gay sex

What’s the third most important thing?

#i like the implication that dali just had that effect on things#just a surrealism field around him at all times

Oh if people need context for live slug reaction this is the original post. I'm not sure why it's blowing up today but it sure is hilarious

If you're a trans man I think you're legally entitled to a butler who brings you a packer on a silver plate and says in that snooty butler voice, "Will sir be needing sir's cock today?"

#develops a Jeeves-esque dynamic with my butler….#wherein he loathes the tacky cocks I buy for myself and is always passive aggressively replacing them with a more tasteful number (x)

This is gonna sound fucked up but i love tight grapes. You know what I mean when the grape is nice and tight and ur incisors pierce thru them like needles popping a balloon

surface tension is literally the most important quality of a grape end of discussion

slav squirting outside of mcdonalds waiting for the uber

hang on wait hold on

*shows up to a high-society cocktail party with a purse filled w/ 300 garden snails* these are my escorts for the evening

it has that..how do u say… je ne sais cock