going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

hey sorry I snapped at you, I've just had a really hard day and [remembers focusing on myself is selfish] maybe it's your fault for provoking me?

I’m chained up in a basement and tortured + bleeding but I’m not an emaciated little twink so no one even cared enough to jack off to it

i love watching teen wolf because it’s suchhhhhh a quintessential CW Show™️ and then you just get these beautiful moments of dylan acting his absolute o’brussy off

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?

these relationships are always increasing numbers as well. so obviously we need six eleven to mean somethimg

imagine if that's the date it finally happens

angel and spike first meeting is so funny. welcome to being a vampire william would you like to get a little bicurious. i mean share the blood of innocents. with another man

people in fiction are always making plans like "how about tuesday?" and then leaving without elaborating. what time? where? do you even have each other's numbers? deeply stressful

never watch the sodium intake!!!!! soup and chips forever!!!!

listen i consider myself an empathic person but after a certain point i get sick of other people’s problems. my friend is always talking about how the jewel-eyed skull on their mantlepiece is tormenting them w its sinister beauty and im over it. like dude i don’t want to talk about this anymore. get rid of the fucking skull

you’ are biased against my skull

i’m not having this argument again man