people in fiction are always making plans like "how about tuesday?" and then leaving without elaborating. what time? where? do you even have each other's numbers? deeply stressful

never watch the sodium intake!!!!! soup and chips forever!!!!

listen i consider myself an empathic person but after a certain point i get sick of other people’s problems. my friend is always talking about how the jewel-eyed skull on their mantlepiece is tormenting them w its sinister beauty and im over it. like dude i don’t want to talk about this anymore. get rid of the fucking skull

you’ are biased against my skull

i’m not having this argument again man

crawls out of my hole that resembles the grave but isnt. #myholethatresemblesthegravebutisnt

Me: wow… i really have been so unplugged today… [sees that I posted every hour on the hour] well. Okay

the issue with 2:15 is thats already 4 pm

I feel like this excerpt is significantly enhanced by knowing that the novel in question is a first-person narrative written from the perspective of an inexplicably sapient flea who lives on Bella's body, and that's why the third priest's penis is described in this way: from the narrator's perspective it literally blots out the sky.

i feel like an often overlooked downside to 10-episode seasons and the death of the "monster of the week" format is that we get way less whump variety nowadays. used to be that there'd be dozens of opportunities for your fave to get punched or kidnapped or hypnotized or what have you. these days if it doesn't fit into the main plot, it just doesn't happen. this is a tragedy. we should be protesting.

Washing ashore must feel good as fuck

people in fiction are always making plans like "how about tuesday?" and then leaving without elaborating. what time? where? do you even have each other's numbers? deeply stressful

whump is such a strange thing for me. ‘oh im having trouble shouldering the burdens of daily life, let me play scenes in my head of someone getting the shit kicked out of them (fictionally), that’ll make me feel better’ and it DOES

haha dude that was an excellent knight kink post. you know you don't have to be useful to be worthy of love, right?

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

love having a mutual who likes one specific thing. Seeing it on my dash and thinking oh yeah it’s my Thing mutual

Im not my blorbo's defence lawyer. I'm their rich mom at parent night and for the money I'm paying this place, my little darling treasure gets to bite as many classmates as they like