Crookshanks

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.

goodbye $200 helloooo 3 groceries

I’m not Christian, I don’t go to church anymore, and my pastor died, but when he was alive I’d sometimes go to his sermons and I remember one time he said “it feels good to hate, but we know that it isn’t allowed, so when we’re told that we’re allowed to hate someone we get so excited that we forget we’re supposed to love”, and if my humble atheist ass might borrow some church talk I’d like to perhaps submit that

Anyhow sometimes on the day to day I feel disgust or revulsion and I have to ask myself “is this a danger to anyone at all or am I just looking for something I’m allowed to hate” and a solid 98/100 times it’s the latter so once again thank you pastor D

Oh I hate this so much, incredible job OP

you can love someone and still murder them in cold blood without remorse btw!!! the two are not mutually exclusive and to suggest otherwise is a very heteronormative point of view!!!!

the response to "your demographic is full of people who are ugly and weird and undesirable" should not ever be "not true! some of us are in fact hot and normal and desireable." you should stand with weird ugly bitches bc otherwise you're just playing a losing game with bigots.

"learned helplessness in gen z" is something i've seen some millennials complaining about online, especially in the workplace, and as a zillennial who is trying to overcome this issue, I think for most people it's a result of overbearing parenting. for me it's because I was so scared of my dad who found issues in every single move I made but the typical cause of learned helplessness in adults is most likely overbearing parents and THOSE parents exist because THEIR parents were probably the "latchkey" type that just let their kids do whatever. so basically we as humans like to learn from mistakes in parenting by creating new ones and this has been a problem for every generation. #MYTHEORY

i just saw the saddest tiktok in the world that purported “im not like other girls, i dont masturbate because i know it would make disinterested in men forever” baby girl you have to jack off and never talk to a man again im literally begging you.

The institution of marriage is my second favourite thing because it allows my first favourite thing, adultery, to exist

AND HOW CAN WE FORGET DIVORCE. I love you thé institution of marriage

the mormon church funds trandwife influencers and is beefing up its social media outreach capabilities by bringing in a lot of heavy hitter youtubers fyi. so when you start seeing more 'wholesome family content' over the next 18 months just know its part of a directed and organised campaign by reactionaries to culturally entrench large families and housewives who baby their husbands

what if vampires are like mosquitoes and only the ladies drink blood

Pretty sure that would mean the fellas drink tree sap or something. Imagine running from a vampire thru the woods and passing her husband who’s biting a tree real hard

Maple syrup vampire husband

Encounter: Maple syrup vampire husband drinking sap in the woods, also trying to lure you to his literally bloodthirsty wife.

The wife has the classic Villain Of The Night aesthetic, all black, flowing cape, everything, and her husband is wearing red flannel, overalls, a beard, and is welding a log-splitting axe

This person gets it! Classic vampire lady and her lumberjack husband!

This is weird bevause ive had this exact thought before

Actually it really does help to paint the picture

"why don't you set an alarm to remind yourself to put your marbles in your bag?" i will fill your shoes with goo