hello

i feel like im in the sims where it takes 5 hours to make pasta and then u have to immediately go to bed

i’ve seen a lot of random things on this site, but i never thought i’d see carebears discourse

you know what they say….. a btich can never have too much fruit 

are you gonna pick those penne noodles out of the boiling water one by one like a man, or are you gonna use a strainer like some kind of democrat?

the reason things like zack and cody and waverly place worked is because they were simple concepts that you could do a lot with. two twins live in a hotel. the same twins live on a cruise ship. wizards and other fantasy creatures exist in an urban setting. Nowadays Disney and Nickelodean sitcoms are all like ‘this family has a dog that can eat metal’ and they expect five seasons out of that.

That’s depression babe!

concept: the year is 2034. i walk into work with coffee in hand. coworker is wearing cool shoelaces and i compliment them absentmindedly. they look me dead in the eye and say, “thanks, i stole them from the president.” scalding coffee leaks out of every one of my orifices and i hide in the bathroom convulsing for the rest of the day

@elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey can you explain this i don’t understand

it is physically painful to remember that people have continued to join tumblr since 2012 and that there are people–perhaps people reading this! right now!!!–who don’t have the foggiest memory of this fucking post.  this post haunted me, do you understand, i saw and heard this code used in REAL FUCKING LIFE, I CANT FKJCLNG HANDLE THIS

*cha cha’s real smooth away from academic responsibilities*

this post was very controversial within the heterosexual community