Pretty Fly for a Bi Guy

not everything is getting worse. at least you don't hear high hopes by panic at the disco every day anymore

this sucks so bad i need to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] put on the best talent show this towns ever seen

“Woaah look at the moon” Me literally every night no matter what phase the moon is.

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

how your email finds me

I always wanted to be the guard that tells only lies

I mean I've actually never wanted to be that.

Stupid stupid stupid. C'mon. At this rate I'll never be a lie guard.

Write it for the Pope

Be kind to trans women or die by my sword

Respect trans men or die by my axe

Love nonbinary people or die by my bow.

Love genderless people or die by my morning star.