Pretty Fly for a Bi Guy

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

how your email finds me

I always wanted to be the guard that tells only lies

I mean I've actually never wanted to be that.

Stupid stupid stupid. C'mon. At this rate I'll never be a lie guard.

Write it for the Pope

Be kind to trans women or die by my sword

Respect trans men or die by my axe

Love nonbinary people or die by my bow.

Love genderless people or die by my morning star.

my liege is that item on the shelf too high for you to reach? fear not, i shall grab it for you. HNNNNNGHHH MMMMMHHGGH HHHHHHHH (cant reach it either)well shit my liege

people without any whimsy scare me. why are you like that. where are your trinkets.