Fun fact! Water actually turns “blood red” when it is contaminated by sulfur creating sulfuric acid. And scientists have discovered that around the time of the plagues a volcano went off that disturbed Egypt’s environment. So the plagues are scientifically proven. The other parts of the plagues are explained by the sulfuric acid river making the animals leave the river and escaping into the human population.

WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME THE PLAGUES WERE PROVEN

this is blowing my fucking mind

I love that if you really boil all this information down, what you get is something approximating “the sinking of Atlantis caused the 10 Biblical plagues of Egypt” which is, like, one of the greatest mythological mash-ups I have ever heard of.

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Gonna be your annoying woke college daughter and point out that there really isn’t much evidence of something resembling the ten plagues in the Egyptian record — there is mention of catastrophic torrential rains at some point in the period, but due to the imprecise nature of dating of Egyptian history and dynasties, we don’t know exactly when that happens and if it actual matches the Santorini eruption or is unrelated (the Santorini eruption itself is not mentioned by the Egyptians records that survive). The only unambiguous source for the story is the Israelite writing about it some one thousand years after when it’s supposed to have happened. The historical consensus is that the events of the book of Exodus are largely made up, even if there may be a diffuse layer of recalled history as a basis — that is, it’s legendary rather than mythological — and the ten plagues simply didn’t happen (but the writers of Exodus may have been inspired by various natural disasters they observed or heard about here and there), so there’s no need to “explain” them. In general you should be wary of “explanations” of the Bible that treat all the events presented as literally true in their most plain meaning and then stretch themselves thin trying to “explain away” the miracles and the contradictions — this is most often the work of fundamentalist apologetic Christians.

I feel like starfish are one of those animals that are treated as very “normal” by people but absolutely shouldn’t be. Like they’re a wheel of repeating heads connected by a central stomach. They walk around using thousands of tiny sticky hydraulically powered tentacles. They have an eye on the end of each arm. Instead of having a mouth they just have an opening where their entire stomach can be pushed out to engulf prey. And they’re just allowed to exist like this. It’s not illegal or anything.

Eldritch horrors come in all sizes

[scoffs] You couldn't PAY me to jack off to Brian Griffin! [remembers the state of the economy] Well, you could, but it would have to be a four figure amount. [remembers to be honest to myself] Three figures. [remembers not to devalue my own labor] Four figures.

I really can’t believe I’ve been on this hell site for 8 years

Impart me in your wisdom of ancient times

one time there was a tumblr user with the url “pizza” and she would just comment on any text post about pizza saying “omg that’s me” and then we found out she had an entire tag dedicated to saying the n word

One time somebody paid $750 for the url ‘hi’ and got deleted in less than a year for promoting weight loss scams

too much to document, but god damn we can try

Seeing that this was from 2019 is like how ancient Egypt had people who studied even more ancient versions of Egypt.

if a trans woman's rapist makes the easy and common move of trying to isolate her from her support network by accusing her of being the one who raped them, you have to not be a useful idiot for her abuser to use as a tool

you can't always rely on "believe survivors" as a buzzphrase, because it's an extremely common abuse tactic to try to obscure the truth of who is actually the survivor and who is the perpetrator. this is especially easy to do against marginalized groups that people are already primed to imagine as violent. you have to first collect enough information to know who is actually the survivor in order to actually believe the survivor and not their abuser

You think I could afford to live in Orc City? On a war drummer's salary? I commute an hour and a half from the outlying Orc Metropolitan Area.

Well it is certainly cheaper than living under the elf king LOL!

Brother, anyone residing under the elf king's banner might be Alive, but they certainly aren't Living! 🤣😂🤣

I'm gonna be honest 'cowboys were a sort of itinerant warrior class common in meiji-era texas' always annoys me a bit because it's a funny post but also No They Weren't. They were an itinerant pastoralist class common in Meiji-era Texas. And indeed the wider western region of post-Risorgimento America

texting my coworker “hey! how are you feeling” and reading it 40 times to make sure i didn’t accidentally type how are you sex cum penis ass cum porn 1080p hot cock

i actually can’t relate but LMAO this is hilarious

thanks for laughing anyway

Romeo and Juliet retelling but it's a married couple who are planning to carve time out of their busy schedules to go out together, but she decides to take a little nap to try to get more energy to stay up later, and when he finds her asleep he assumes she's gone to bed for real so he goes all the way to sleep (I'm talking sleep mask + vaporub + white noise + melatonin, or whatever routine people do for a REALLY good sleep) and when she wakes up from her nap and finds him out cold she just goes to bed too. Tragic 😔

Same energy as retelling the Odyssey as the mundane errands of some guy in Dublin. I don't know if you consider this a warm compliment or a mortal insult.

Okay we should be able to get groceries on Saturday and just need to make it till then so like if you could throw any extra cash so we can make it the next couple of days like. Please help a girl out. Please. PayPal is [email protected] and Venmo is @Chara-Haze and cashapp is $CharaHaze

The amount of slavery in Ancient Rome was legitimately terrifying tbh

Y’all know that I’m into ancient Roman history and I do a lot of research on it but even though I should be used to it by now sometimes I read an anecdote about how an individual slave was treated and I’m hit with the realization that like a third of the population was living like that and I just need to put my head in my hands for a second

When you study ancient history you’re reminded that slavery has never once been kind or justified. It just takes on different forms of evil in every time and place that it infects.

Lurking under this is also the fact that most Roman mining operations were done by slaves in conditions that were far more brutal than those of household slaves, to the point that sending a slave to the mines is a threat I’ve read leveraged multiple times in separate texts