orange one

non-writers will never understand the mental illness of writing an entire conversation in your head while doing dishes and then forgetting every word the second you open a blank doc

I have GOT to stop spending $30

$30 is the new $5 but $100 is still $100 #Fucked

fonts will be named shit like viscera antique, 16 bit dreams, doctor's orders, bingo condensed, googly, wish you were here

8 hours of decent sleep will have you thinking things like 'i am a beautiful horse and i will never die'

2 hours of bad sleep will have you thinking things like 'i am a stranded whale and i need to be covered in dynamite in an ill-advised attempt to clear the beach'

Every job application in 2026 is like can you please tell us a bedtime story

Pokemon Heritage Post

what if you combined a pressure cooker and a deep fryer and made a pressure fryer, the most dangerous kitchen implement in history

does this imply you want to heat cooking oil to past its boiling point at one atmosphere

*grabs america by the shoulders* we have got to lock the fuck in. south asia and the middle east are running goddamn circles around us. we have got to come up with a more dangerous way of cooking food now or we can kiss these quarter finals goodbye

listen coach, im deep frying frozen turkeys as fast as i can!