I understand some of you are 19 but that is not an old man, he's 32.
we're not kids anymore.
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@creativelydani
I understand some of you are 19 but that is not an old man, he's 32.

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i know in my heart that shane is the most obnoxious sick person of all time
not because he's a baby a la classic man cold
but because he will AGGRESSIVELY try to pretend he is not sick
he is trying to gaslight others but ALSO himself
he has a gold medal immune system thank you he did NOT get taken down by ill pikeling spreading Elementary School Plague to him
not happening
as an itty bitty he lied so he wouldn't have to skip hockey, and that has NOT changed as an adult
his true toxic trait is that he WILL be typhoid mary in that locker room if it means he doesn't have to stay home and miss playing
the majority of the struggle when shane is sick is just making him ADMIT he is sick
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also CACKLING about the way this looks on the outside.
like. no one else on the team understands Hollander Illness Behavior yet, so they're teasing ilya about being overprotective because shane is SO underplaying it and meanwhile ilya is just, "no, i am so fucking serious. get a medic and then call an ambulance."
and shane who is barely on this realm of existence and about 0.2 seconds from having Involuntary Floor Time is just, "don't worry :) i'll just take an advil or something :)"
WHICH IS NOT HELPING EVERYONE ELSE UNDERSTAND THE MOTHERFUCKING GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION, SHANE, NO MORE CONTRIBUTIONS AT THIS TIME FROM YOU, THANK YOU
"you only like her because shes a woman" yup "you let female characters get away with too much" yes "if a man did this you would hate him for it" indeed
when you like tvl so far and go on twitter
Someone asking Luca after Shane's first season as AC on the Centaurs: "So, is it difficult with basically three captains, especially if two of them are married that must be hard to get used to.
And Luca and the other rookies being like, oh you mean the Dad-Trifecta? it's the best thing that has ever happened to us.
You loose your skates or you need help with paperwork or you're just feeling kinda sad and need a dad hug - you go Bood. he will grill you some chicken and go speak to Coach for you. You call him or Cassie if you're sick and they will pick you up and deposit you on the floor with Milo and you are their baby now. I'm 23 years old but that's my dad tho
If you're having trouble with other players, or if you're in like, a crisis? Mama Bear Ilya, will 100% get arrested for any of us and/or pick you up from the middle of nowhere any time of night. You wanna ragebait other players? He has the perception of a God and can tell from one look when a players second wife will leave him. He can also tell when you're feeling like shit mentally and he will pick you up take you to Harris farm and make you dog walk with him while throwing sweets at you. Holmberg got high sticked the other week Ilya spent like, 2 hours going through the guys Instagram with us while wine drunk and ripping his entire life to pieces with us.
and Shane? He will come early to practice for you, he will tell me things wrong with my playing I didn't know EXISTED. Boyle was in a slump Hollander turned up at our house with a fucking smoothie get your ass out of bed we're going to the rink and he will completely pull apart your playing style with such precision that's it's beautiful to watch and I'm not even mad about it. Roz will be giving a fucking captains speech about how we can do better next week and he'll fucking pipe up in the corner going, well we will if Lapointe improves his footwork Coach, we're gonna be staying late on Saturday and Wiebe is like, sounds good Hollander like COACH you can't Agree For Me and he'll just go, Shane Hollander is giving you a private lesson I don't care what you're doing cancel it

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in a reasonable canon, shane would simply have THEE most dependent and intimate relationship with the montreal team nutritionist. like, he has her on speed dial. they text multiple times per day. she spends 60% of her work hours adjusting meal plans for his texture issues and aversions. nobody else really sees how intense their connection is.
when he was crashing out about trading to ottawa, he said, "You know, it's just gonna be really hard to leave melissa," and hayden was sitting right there like. "melissa?? it's gonna be hard to leave MELISSA??"
but i think we can probably convince melissa to move to ottawa with him, don't worry.
This week on TVL, Claudia & Lestat parallels go even harder and youâre even more devastated about their complicated relationship đ
jokes to make after failure that arenât self-deprecating:
Iâm the best to ever do it
Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)
No oneâs ever done it like me
I could be President/they should make me President
Behold, a mere fraction of my power!
The public wants to be me soooooo bad
Iâm an expert in (thing you just failed at)
How could this have happened to godâs favorite princess?
Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix
Iâm being sabotaged
no no, i get it. i can see why you're confused- I want the CANON to be completely platonic, fucked-up exploration of intimacy that transcends human sexuality but never includes human sexuality.
I want to be the pervert that makes them fuck.

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functionally suicidal character saying âI would die for youâ to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me heâd sell hot dogs for me, I wouldnât feel very moved now would I
My Shane and Ilya are both incredibly possessive of one another and quick to jealousy but while Ilya gets jealous in a âeveryone wants you but they canât have you, youâre mine and I will delight in showing everyone what theyâre missing out onâ way, Shane gets jealous in a âI will burn this club down with both of us in itâ way.
So blessed to be part of a fandom where every headcanon, without fail, ends with âand then they fuck about itâ
Serious question, why do fic authors think that Shane Hollander is a blubbering baby who needs Ilya to do absolutely everything for him because heâs just so fragile?
âCause like, our boy is autistic, which makes him more sensitive to a lot of stuff, but also on a very real note, he doesnât emotionally process most of his life. I say this as someone who is both medicated and therapized, but I still cannot emotionally process things unless I work through it out loud (AuDHD, baby!). Therefore, Shane internalizes EVERYTHING. He wonât sob or act out or be dramatic, heâll just go quiet (and then MAYBE heâll cry if heâs alone, maybe).
Shane hires people to manage things for him, yes, but when it comes to himself, he will Handle That Shit. Yep, itâs not healthy or wise most of the time (his ED, obsessive training, etc), but thatâs how Shane regulates his feelings and emotional wellbeing. Again, he doesnât do regulation well, but rigid routines and rules make him stable enough to present as a functional human (me too, Shane).
Shane doesnât need Ilya to tell him how to think or feel. He does need to be poked at sometimes to actually talk about things, but Shane will not be the kind of person who has explosively emotional breakdowns at the drop of a hat. Between masking his autism and strict media training, he will never be that kind of person.
Itâs also important to note that Shane grew up in a safe, loving home. His parents (from what we know) have a very healthy relationship. Yuna, while a little overbearing, is stable and controlled (behaviour that Shane likely mimics) and David is a very calm, relaxed guy that balances out his wifeâs intensity. Itâs very likely that Shane rarely witnessed any fights and if he did, itâs unlikely they were highly emotional displays.
Between them, Ilya will be the one whoâs prone to emotional breakdowns. With the C-PTSD of his childhood finally catching up and his battle with depression, Ilya will struggle to regulate or push it down, especially since heâs in a place where he has a good support system. Itâs part-brain chemistry and part learned behaviour bc his father was obviously abusive (explosively, so, from what we can glean about both Ilya & his mother) and he watched his mother struggle with depression. Ilya can put on a face until he explodes because he has no other way of expression.
TLDR: stop making Shane Hollander cry at the drop of a hat because itâs not him & also very fucking infantilizing (which is a massive fucking problem because people are constantly infantilizing autistics).
Honest (SPOILER) thoughts regarding the GO finale, I think a valuable piece of writing people are kinda overlooking is the INCREDIBLE subversion of their main motivations
Like we as the audience are lead to believe from the start that Crowley is this jaded, cynical little fucker whoâs fond of one person and one person only. The typical ânothing in this world matters except youâ grumpy who doesnât give a shit about a universe that rejected him. Aziraphale, likewise, is pretty easily seen as the bigger picture guy, itâs obvious he loves Crowley deeply but itâs the mission of the larger world, the good of the people, that draws his time and energy- he chooses that responsibility more than Crowley. These are the roles weâve seen them play and the archetypes weâve kinda locked them in to. It matches with their grumpy vs sunshine attitudes, their aesthetics etc
Then in s2 we started noticing some cracks in it. Weâve met Angel Crowley who is a beautiful sunshiny dreamer who cares so deeply about the gorgeous world around him. Aziraphale starts to get a bit wrapped up in his own self interest from time to time, caring more about his bookshop or Crowley or even Jim than his larger mission. These little moments added depth to their characters, but ultimately didnât shake our ideas of them. But THEN-
When they were asked by God what they would save, everything in the world has been stripped from them. The universe is lost- all that remains is each other and the final question of âwhat in the whole of existence matters to you most?â And we think we know what theyâll say, we think the way weâve been taught all this time- Crowley is the selfish lover and Aziraphale is the heartbroken rejector.
But instead we meet their cores. We meet the truest stripped down versions of themselves and we learn the truth. Aziraphale picks Crowley. His lover, his life, the being that completes him. He makes the selfish, or loving, choice, no matter what it means to the world. And Crowley- Crowley is crying for the world. He is so utterly helplessly desperate for humanity to have their chance that heâs willing to throw away everything out of his sheer love for them. Weâve met the old part of him again, the artist and the lover, the selfless one heâs had within him all along. And for Aziraphale weâve finally met the lover in him too, the one whoâs finally willing to put his love for Crowley above all else.
I donât know but I think itâs absolutely beautiful to get to know characters that you thought had these black and white motivations, only to discover that when it all comes down to it, they are capable of throwing everything we assumed about them out the window. Thereâs no black and white or even grey, but a whole world of mixed up colours and choices that make them whole. The sinful Angel and the selfless demon to the last.

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feeling unreasonably amused and fond about the idea of bb shane figuring out that timeout=having to go sit somewhere quiet and not have anyone talk to him
and thus putting HIMSELF in timeout especially at family events with a frequency that has other family members pulling yuna and david aside to be like, "he really didn't do anything wrong, he doesn't need to be in timeout. it's okay." and them having to figure out a way to explain that yeah, they know. this wasn't their call. he is free to leave whenever he wants. he's literally not in trouble for anything. he went up to yuna, said "mommy, i need a timeout" and then walked himself off to go sit in the guest room looking SO pleased at this loophole out of having to talk to people when he's tired of it.
Accurate bc I, as a child (and a teenager), would announce âIâm done nowâ and disappear to my bedroom to either sleep or Not Talk To Anyone.
so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god
okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now iâm thinkingâŚ.maybe this is the good luck post
âŚ..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
i need all the help i can get for finals
Hey so
the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like.Â
So you know.Â
This might be the real one, yâall.
I could use some luck