Welcome to the Carnival

the real reason howl kept his castle moving was tax evasion

This sounds like a joke but I read the book this is the literal reason

#excuse u he was also dodging the draft and his ex

HE WAS ALSO DODGING THE DRAFT AND HIS EX!!! I FORGOT!! LEGEND

Won’t lie, if I were having a rough time and the office himbos brought me mac and cheese I would be cured.

Small, clumsy kindnesses, earnestly given, are more healing than you would believe. More adults should be willing to show the tender caring that a little kid expresses when they say, “You looked sad, so I brought you a rock.”

Blind people must save a lot on electricity.

They do actually!

I had a blind professor, last semester, and I swung through his office to make up an exam. It was a while before I knew he was in there because he was sitting with the lights off. I finally went in, apologized, and took the exam by the light of a nearby window (which was fine). Forty-five minutes into dead silence he panicked and yelled in this booming voiced, “WAIT, YOU CAN SEE!!!” before diving across his desk to turn on the lights. I’m sure he was embarrassed but I thought it was endearing and it highlighted a large aspect of disabled life that I hadn’t previously considered.

Humans are so fucking fascinating

little used fantasy trope i love: when two people are playing cards in a shady bar and it's the tense moment where they show their hand but it's a fantasy so they can't say things like "full house" or "royal flush" so they same some nonsense like "three crowns and a dead crow" and the crowd is like "oooOOHH" so we know that's good

thats how i feel watching scenes with regular cards

I genuinely feel bad for the next puppy I get my hands on and claim as mine. Besides me being extremely possessive and needing my hands to be somewhere on them at all times, anywhere they are they’re getting mounted and fucked until I see tears. Kitchen, bathroom, living room, even when we’re driving home from a simple day out together, they’re getting dragged to the back seat and forced on their knees to be broken and used the minute I pull over.

I was so concerned, I legitimately thought they meant a dog 💀💀

Guys save this for next year cuz this pick up is golden

so embarrassing when i forget im checking someone's blog and i start scrolling through and liking and reblogging shit as if it's just my dash. it feels like wandering into someone else's apartment and not noticing and making myself lunch

This is me when I'm on insta and start accidentally scrolling through someone's posts😅

if you're too lazy to filter tags, that's on you. point blank, period. don't use AO3 if youre not going to actually make use of any of it's benefits. they made it SO FUCKING EASY to cater your search results. it's not a site problem, it's not a society problem, it's a YOU PROBLEM if you decide to get all bent out of shape because you didn't want to filter out the shit you don't like.