Bananas Are Hardly That Slippery.

accidentally said "invasive thoughts" instead of "intrusive thoughts" today and actually I think I'm onto something. this thought does not belong here and it is harming the local ecosystem

”with shapes.inc you can talk to your ocs!!” Dumbass. I’m already talking to them. In my head. “B-bbut what about your favourite charac-“ skill issue. In my head as well. get fucked.

Like to charge, reblog to cast

Apple Bottomjeans is a beautiful gname for a gnome

Boots Witherfur is a joyful gname for this gnome’s friend

Baggysweat Pants and Reebok Switherstraps are the two orcs that are hunting them

if you ever find yourself writing fanfiction and thinking "this is too indulgent" that is the devil talking and he can go ahead and shut the fuck up

normalize being dogshit amateur at your special interests and hyperfocuses. no more autistic savants. yes i am very into that topic no i am not good at it. we exist <3

"you wouldn't want that in real life" yeah i know it's called playing pretend, try to keep up

Look if a garment is like. Wool or silk. And it’s like, don’t put me in the fucking wash. I’m like yeah of course ma’am I shall lightly dab you with a damp cloth and air you out so you don’t get stinky. But when a polyester garment is like “hand wash only” I’m like who the FUCK do you think you are. You’re plastic. Get in the drum.

I work with kids and I've had two occasions where a little boy straight up won't listen to anything I say because I'm a woman. and like yeah he's gonna continue to be raised by terrible role models and probably grow up to be a sexist douchebag but I have three hours a week to get through to him and so far I'm crushing it. I got six year old boys who previously didn't listen to a word I said telling their shitty dads to not speak to me like that. yeah that's right I'm the teacher making your kid woke. go fuck yourself about it.

you left your kid with me and I taught him that women are people. and also to question authority. and also how to kick someone in the nuts. have fun with that.

the most elegant dismissal of “why are there pyramids all over the world” that I’ve heard was “what’s the easiest structure to build? A pile of stuff. What if you wanted to make the pile stable? You’d turn it into a pyramid shape” and I forgot where I heard this but it reminds me of “notice how there’s flood myths all over the world” feels a lot less interesting if you ask “notice how civilizations that leave written records are often located next to rivers or other bodies of water and what’s a catastrophic natural disaster that can happen to cities next to bodies of water”

if vampires existed in real life i think there would be shady companies advertising "organic blood" sourced from "willing donors" who are coincidentally all poor people being paid like $5 per blood donation. and like haughty vegan vampires who only drink a synthetic blood drink thats brewed in a way thats actively worse for the enviroment. and radical traditionalist vampires who go on tiktok and claim that true alpha chads have to drain and kill people and anyone who leaves their victims alive is a liberal cuck. enter the world of hypothetical insufferable vampire politics with me.

thank you ao3 for being an archive and not an algorithm. thank you for letting me like things without consequences, thank you for being free with no ads, thank you for having lawyers to defend our freedom of speech. thank you tag wranglers. thank you to all authors and thank you ao3