Help ._.

Drawing is effectively one of the only creative activities that I am actively bad at.

That being said, I want to get better. So I'm going to start drawing on a semi-regular basis. And maybe posting them here.

I am drawing for myself. I am not looking for praise. I do not expect anyone to look at this.

Me: Fuck you

My ex: Well, fuck you too

Me: You didn't

Was a self-proclaimed avatar of the Corruption. (There's nothing against Corruption avatars, but the Corruption is also unhealthy love)

Elias Bouchard apologist ("I can't fix him, I can make him worse" I didn't realize I was him)

Was very judgemental of my love of Michael and my connection with the Spiral (dude, you made me spiral)

Initially suggested that I would connect with the Web (I am afraid of spiders, and they were the manipulative one in the relationship)

Hated Martin Blackwood because he was "very manipulative" (I'm not saying he isn't, but I think this was just projecting)

But eyes scare me.

Y'know the creepy eyes peering out of the darkness. Or the animated characters with realistic eyes.

Just eyes that are wrong. Or watching me.

I don't like them looking at me. I feel so uncomfortable.

Just thinking about it while typing this is making me feel paranoid that someone is watching me.

They don't know tma.

I want to rot.

I'm here to remind you that smoking kills. And so do possessed twinks.

Be safe out there, guys.

Yes, he's hot. But have you seen how he interacts with others? When we meet him, he's the most self-centered and emotionally dense man to ever love interest. "I have dreams like you, no, really, just much less touchy-feely." He doesn't know how to trust people, but he learns.

In contrast, there's Rapunzel who convinced a while bar of thugs to sing about their dreams.

They are so perfect together. She's very naive and hopeful. She's never left her tower she only knows that the outside world can be dangerous, but she's not seen that. He's very distrusting and deflects with humor. He's seen the worst that the world can be and does what he needs to survive.

I don't know how to love myself.

All I see are the imperfections.

I see everything "wrong" with me.

I hate myself.

But you loved me.

You said that you loved me.

You told me that I could be loved.

I believed you.

I thought that maybe I could learn to love myself through your love.

You hated that I hate myself.

You knew that I didn't love myself.

And eventually you stopped loving me too.

But I was still trying to learn.

I wanted to love myself the way you loved me.

Instead you started to hate me the way I hate me.

Now the love is gone.

And instead of being back at square one,

I'm five steps back.