It is I, the awkward lemon squeeze

making a pilgrimage to tumblr & getting conned by a blogger claiming to sell scraps of the shroud of pjackk

This isn’t fucking funny. My father was torn to pieces in the noob wars by a silver rank landmine

how does your dad being reduced to freelo protect our guild

MY FATHER BLED FOR THIS GUILD WHILE YOU WERE STILL IN THE TUTORIAL. YOU SMURF ON HIS VERY BONES.

Quest: help Oprah find and destroy Dr Phil

“power corrupts” does NOT mean “oppression purifies”

let me eat oats out of your hands i promise i'll be niceys this time

i was lying. fingers fingers fingers fingers fingers fin-

say what u want about the manscaped ads I know they are shit, all of them but the “evil, sinister, malcontent, balls” one puts me into fucking hysterics actually

one time we were listening to fleetwood mac in the car and my sister who was probably 4 at the time asked, without being prompted, “can girls marry girls?” and THAT is the power of stevie nicks

Wild caught clownfish will be like ‘hm you see, the anemone you got me is a slightly different color and tentacle width than the one I had back home, so I will not begin hosting it. I’ll be a sort of wandering ronin for the rest of my days.’ And then a captive bred clownfish will be like ‘ok so I have this curved rock I found and I just sit above it and it take care of me 👍’