“i’m in kind of a weird mental place right now” i say, as if there are times when i am not in a weird mental place
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@courtneyshell
“i’m in kind of a weird mental place right now” i say, as if there are times when i am not in a weird mental place

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“We heard youse are behind on your payments to Fat Tony.”
I ALMOST SPIT MY ROOTBEER
“Think you’re all aesthetic, huh? A real instagram Wiseguy! You want something to blog about? We’ll give ya something to blog about!”
The War Chest Review, Australia, February 1919
New hot trend from 1919: Loudly ogling anti-maskers and their bare faces like “Wow where did you find such an ugly face mask???”
#i hope that lady knew she was the funniest person in australia in 1919 (via @amazonqueendianaprince)

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toddlers with glasses make me want to cry like you are so small and you can't even see properly. you are so small and your glasses are so big. don't even get me started on when the glasses are the kind that go around the head so they won't fall off or when they make their eyes look bigger. literally cryung just thinking about it
“All of a sudden two decades have passed and you still have not kissed anyone with tongue, or kissed anyone at all for that matter, or had a 3 AM conversation with someone who would rather look into your eyes for ten minutes straight than talk. You have never worn a lover’s sweater or “forgotten” it at home in your bedroom just so you would have an excuse to see them again. You have never even stood face-to-face with someone who makes your hands shake so hard it feels like they’re both having a separate anxiety attack. This causes you much guilt and self-blame and sadness but above all, an overwhelming curiosity. Are you really that ugly, that unwanted, that uninteresting, that boring, that no one, absolutely no one, has ever looked at you like the only thing on earth? The answer is no. The better answer is that someone out there, somewhere in the world, is “wondering what it’s like to meet someone like you,” and they have two decades worth of love stored in their veins like a shoot-‘em-up drug, and they’re just about ready to inject it into someone else’s bloodstream. All you have to do is roll up your sleeves and wait for it to happen. At times you felt so lonely you could stand at the edge of a cliff with nothing beneath you but air and grass and a long, long way down, and you’d still feel emptier than that canyon itself. Maybe you even danced with yourself alone in your room a few times, arms outstretched around a ghost, pretending someone else’s hands were on your waist, someone else’s eyes boring into yours. Or maybe you fell temporarily in love with strangers on public transportation, fell in love with anybody who so much as accidentally brushed your hand on the way past. For you, falling in love with dozens of people a day was a coping mechanism for not having anyone to love you in return. But people are not eggs and falling in love with a dozen of them does not mean your shell will remain uncracked. One day you’re going to hit the point where you’re so desperate for human contact that you’re going to snap in half and all your love will bleed out like egg yolk. But someone out there is eating a bowl of Ramen noodles right now, or putting on slippers, or settling into bed. They are doing all the normal things that you’ve done in your own life. They are just like you. They have cellulite and extra fat in all the wrong places and goals and fears and doubts and bad handwriting. The truth is that they are just like you, and being just like you, they’re looking for a lover too. They’re what you might call a soulmate. They think they’re all alone in feeling the way they do, but you’re really both two halves of a whole. And one day you’ll meet them, bump into them on the street, and your two halves will be put together, and you’ll make one.”
— Writings For Winter - For Twenty Year-Olds who have never been loved (via beepboopboopbeep)
it’s the 21st day of the 21st year of the 21st century.
you can only reblog this today.
evermore as an old storybook
@taylorswift @taylornation ♡
part 1 | part 2 | twitter
[please credit me if you repost]

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Draco Malfoy was standing with his back to the door, his hands clutching either side of the sink, his white-blond head bowed. “Don’t,” crooned Moaning Myrtle’s voice from one of the cubicles. “Don’t… tell me what’s wrong… I can help you…” “No one can help me,” said Malfoy. His whole body was shaking. “I can’t do it… I can’t… It won’t work… and unless I do it soon… he says he’ll kill me" And Harry realized, with a shock so huge it seemed to root him to the spot, that Malfoy was crying — actually crying — tears streaming down his pale face into the grimy basin. ”
Opened Twitter and this was the first thing I saw
sky high but it’s about being gay
my hero
I was worried that the cleaner might have lost her job over this, but apparently the company that employs her stood up for her and said she was just doing her job.
Now I can comfortably lol.
god bless you lady cause these white ppl out of hand
If modern art is supposed to challenge the viewer by posing the question, “What is art, really?”, it needs to be prepared for viewers to answer that question.
Art: what is art, really? Cleaning Lady: not this
Bold & Brash

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imagine you participated in a failed coup against the US government and the FBI partnered with Olive Garden to identify you via your tiktok video and you get arrested and charged with a federal felony and lose your pasta pass
When you’re an archaeologist with a set schedule, sometimes people really get to understand who you are
When I dug in France I always got a croissant at 0520 from the same exact place in Échemines. A week in, they had one lying on the counter for me by the time I walked in. By the second week I got the exact amount I’d pay in hand when I walked in, because they’d reliably have it ready. I made sure to tell the owners that I wasn’t returning on my last day of the dig.
I may mention that every time I ordered in French. On my last day the owners gave me hugs and kindly told me to never speak in French again
They had your order ready so they wouldn’t have to hear you speak French 🤣
OH, MOTHERFUCKER