the man with no plan

having a body made of meat sucks ass

kill dorothy fuck the lion marry the tin man and i dont care about the other one

It's fine they just went a little nuts with the character creation face sliders

nice argument you got there unfortunately i already portrayed you as the chopped jackson's hartebeest and me as the slay gerenuk

(to the tone of creep by radiohead) but i'm asleep. on mypillow

a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”

#MyFly

so cute...♡

so cute...♡

its awesome that neither mind reading nor god are real and all of the thoughts inside of your head are completely private and consequenceless forever #myprivacy

saying God ain’t real is so unnecessary 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

its actually pretty necessary for people who grew up being told "all of your thoughts are constantly monitored by an omniscient and omnipotent authority who may doom you to an eternity of torment if you think wrong" to occasionally be reminded that none of it is true at all.