people will describe their incredibly nebulous sexuality to you that they’ve never been able to define and the whole time you’re thinking that sounds like bisexuality brother
Monterey Bay Aquarium

ellievsbear

roma★
occasionally subtle
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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tannertan36
tumblr dot com
we're not kids anymore.
Claire Keane
ojovivo
Jules of Nature
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
taylor price
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Origami Around
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Misplaced Lens Cap
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@corvidscourses
people will describe their incredibly nebulous sexuality to you that they’ve never been able to define and the whole time you’re thinking that sounds like bisexuality brother

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the secret cheat code for women is realizing you dont have to date men
this doesnt just go for lesbians it goes for bi women and straight women too. i cant even count how many times straight women have told me “i wish i was a lesbian so i didnt have to date men” but guess what … u Dont have to date men
to be clear this also isnt necessarily saying ‘go date women instead!!’ its just saying…. u dont have to date men. u dont have to be dating women in order to not date men! in fact if ur not attracted to women at all please dont date women just as a substitute for men. but if dating men isnt making u happy… u dont have to do that. u dont have to make a space in ur life for men
im singlehandedly destroying every mans mental health by telling women its ok to not date them
Every reblog = less mental health awareness for men and more actual autonomy and love for women
i'm actually really tired of being lumped together like this. i don't find it empowering or validating. why don't you just say "people i assume were afab" & save yourself some space.
somebody replied "what about straight trans men." on an account called butch_fever. who then replied "we love them too!" why. why are we required to make space for men whenever we talk about women. can anything just be for dykes? can we stop acting like cis dykes & trans dykes have nothing in common & aren't in community with each other? i wouldn't be offended by trans men being included in lesbian spaces if it didn't seem to always be at the expense of trans women.
maybe it's me, maybe i'm not butch after all because i don't like all the assumptions it causes people to make about me, & maybe that means it's not the label for me. every community i try to find a home in ends up telling me i don't belong there.
for the record this is the same dude who wrote an article about how autogynephilia is real
the thing about misogyny is that femininity is both devalued AND forced on women (and those misgendered as women). if you fail to meet the arbitrary standard of Womanly Charm you're ugly and unwanted and hate yourself and if you succeed you're shallow and brainless and weak. if you don't try to conform you're lazy and if you do you're vain. it is not possible to beat this system. feminism needs both "feminine doesn't mean weak or less-than" AND "women don't have to be feminine to have value", and if you are fighting for one of these the people fighting for the other are not your enemies, nor are they privileged over you.
this post is inclusive of trans people, including but not limited to trans women and transfeminine people. exclusionary sentiment is not welcome.
when i was a kid i was so mad all the time bc i thought someday i'd have to be somebody's wife i didn't know it was optional. is everybody reminding the young girls in their lives that it's optional.
AND SO IS BEING SOMEBODY'S MOTHER‼️
it is about being a woman. hope that helps!
reading comprehension questions for the notes:
is wanting to be a wife and mother a requirement for being a woman?
why might OP be annoyed with replies assuming that this post is about being aroace or transmasc if a woman doesn’t want to be a wife or mother?
are there reasons unrelated to sexuality and romantic interest that might make a woman not want to be a wife or mother?
are there reasons unrelated to gender identity and expression that might make a woman not want to be a wife and mother?
core concept: what is gender essentialism?
is it gender essentialism to imply that all women inherently want to be wives and mothers? could this be what OP is critiquing?
look at the notes OP responds to. is it gender essentialism to imply that being a wife and mother is so affixed to womanhood that to not want to be those things means you’re incapable of sexual/romantic feelings, or not a woman?
what trait are you perpetuating when you assume that women who do not want to be wives and mothers must be aroace or trans? is it gender essentialism?

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“When I was young, women were raped on the campus of a great university and the authorities responded by telling all the women students not to go out alone after dark or not to be out at all. Get in the house. (For women, confinement is always waiting to envelope you.) Some pranksters put up a poster announcing another remedy, that all men be excluded from campus after dark. It was an equally logical solution, but men were shocked at being asked to disappear, to lose their freedom to move and participate, all because of the violence of one man.”
— Rebecca Solnit, Grandmother Spider in Men Explain Things To Me and Other Essays
The most inconvenient truth is that men do misogyny because they get something from it. They get labor from intimate partners, they get social capital in their public circles, they get the benefit of the doubt, they get default respect and promotions and people listening to them and people afraid of them.
"" oh he did xyz because he's traumatized"" ""he was a monster bc he was misunderstood""
He did it because he benefitted.
All of that being said, I don't have infinite patience and I'm confident in my principles.
Not once has someone given me a reason to include trans men in lesbianism that doesn't boil down to either:
Shared History™️ (which also boils down to)
Being AFAB
Watering down the definition of lesbian until it fits some vague meaning of "queerly loving non-(cis) men".
If you truly understand that trans people are in fact the genders they say they are (I do), and you understand that lesbian (for the most part) means "women who love women", there's no way to circle that square.
in treatment i and the other autistic women present were pushed into being, essentially, unpaid live-in maids for the autistic men we lived with. i and other autistic women had personal belongings stolen and broken by autistic men for stepping out of line. there was a period of time lasting several months where i refused to eat with my housemates because i was sexually harassed almost every day at dinner. i was followed around the house, deliberately intimidated, and threatened by an autistic man, and this was not enough on its own to either assign me or him to a different residential location within the program, which would have protected me from being targeted. i retreated into myself after being constantly shouted down, humiliated, and mocked, all in a specifically gendered context. breaking objects and punching walls was part of this campaign of terror. my history of bad experiences with autistic men, explicitly because i am an autistic woman, goes back much further. in certain ways, i think the widespread poor treatment of autistic people as a group has intimidated me into silence around the phenomenon of misogyny and misogynistic violence among autistic men; they are certainly no more misogynistic or violent than allistic men, but they are a group whose misogyny and violence will always be excused and prioritized over the safety of autistic women.
every demographic of man on earth has a sizable portion who will say harm towards women comes from every other demographic of man except for theirs. the thing you’re perceiving as misogynistic danger is really something else, often something socially marginalized, so what does that make you for noticing it? if you don’t hear from women in these demographics you can safely assume they agree with the men; it’s more comfortable than wondering what is done to the women who disagree.
Dont want to reblog this long ass post but. Describing a reddit post essentially saying "(boomer) men interact with women differently to how they interact with men and vice versa" as "easily the most interesting take [OP] has ever seen" on the topic is crazy work. Is this not feminism and gender theory 101. Do people not go outside and interact with others, or observe the interactions of others at all. This isn't even a boomer specific concept

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I will stop hating men when men stop hating women
I have been lectured by so many men on how I should not hate people for their gender. Treated as casually inferior, too stupid to understand that *obviously* I should not do that. When men stop believing that women are a kind of stupid emotional animal that must be educated I will stop hating men.
And yes, trans men are men in that regard too. Do better.
Conclusion: You’re upset that I hate trans men? Treat (trans) women as your equals and I won’t hate you.
If you come on this post and lecture me about how I shouldnt hate men you are the problem I’m describing. To be clear
Transandrophobia isn’t real. You’re the problem.
this is the core of why some women defend beauty standards - if they’re deconstructed even a little they have to face how much money/time they’ve sunk into them. it also exposes how untrue “i did it for myself” really is - if that was true, you wouldn’t be upset that other bodies are being uplifted
honestly + unfortunately I am never surprised by men laughing at a woman’s expense
like marilyn frye said: “to say that straight men are heterosexual is only to say that they engage in sex (fucking exclusively with the other sex, i.e., women). all or almost all of that which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for other men. the people whom they admire, respect, adore, revere, honor, whom they imitate, idolize, and form profound attachments to, whom they are willing to teach and from whom they are willing to learn, and whose respect, admiration, recognition, honor, reverence and love they desire… those are, overwhelmingly, other men. in their relations with women, what passes for respect is kindness, generosity or paternalism; what passes for honor is removal to the pedestal. from women they want devotion, service and sex. heterosexual male culture is homoerotic; it is man-loving.”
*liberal voice* the "Throw Trannies in a Woodchipper Act" is bad because what if a real person gets thrown into the chipper by mistake?
gender essentialism is soooo funny bc it's like "this is what women are like" and you're like "I've met women and many of them, if not the majority, have not been like that" and it's like "well women SHOULD be like that" and you're like "why should women be like that" and its like "because that's what women are like"

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"butchfemme just replicates heterosexuality" is one of the utmost "this probably goes hard as fuck if you're stupid" sentiments
no baby i'm talking about real butch/femme dykes in the real world actually
the thing is that most men hate women in general and treat any woman they're close to as an exception. his girlfriend is not like the other girls, his female friend is just like one of the boys, his mother is a saint among women. this is a normal and expected outlook for a man to have, to the point that highlighting all the ways that he hates women in general as being hateful and not just normal has been one of the major projects of feminism.
so when i as a clearly frustrated feminist and a trans woman say "i hate men" i think it's actually very easy for all the men in my life who already understand everything ive just said above (because they're feminists) to understand what i mean by that, and to get that they can represent exceptions to a general feeling of sexgender class resentment. it's really only the men who do not understand the first goddamn thing about feminism or who are completely hair-trigger ready to jump in with white-knight high horse man-defense-league bullshit who object to it.
pretending that you don't understand how i could have men as close friends and family in my life and still genuinely feel that i hate men in general as a category and a social class is just engaging in the same old kind of "first day on earth" willful obtuseness that is characteristic of so much men's rights bullshit and has been for literally ever