Eldritch Whore

Movie about a depressed and rather morbid autistic man planning to commit suicide and picking up a number of odd jobs in an effort to raise enough money to meticulously plan and prepay for his funeral so his mother doesn’t have to worry about it after he is gone. He begins to connect with people and enjoy life for the first time while working part time as a greeter in the funeral home, helping an eccentric old lady organize her basement, walking 7 dogs and maintaining a feral cat colony for a guy with a broken foot, playing a number of bit parts in local ads and stocking the shelves at the convenience store at night. In the end, he has befriended many of his neighbors and he decides he does not want to die and goes back to school to become a funeral director instead.

He is popular at his funeral home gig because he keeps accidentally saying things that are very reassuring and death positive. Because he wants to die. He eventually donates his funeral fund to the old lady’s granddaughter after her sudden death so she does not have to sell her grandmother’s prized possessions to pay for her funeral.

The old lady gifts him one of her ceramic cats at the beginning of the film which he reluctantly accepts out of politeness. Near the end of the film, he adopts a friendly cat from the cat colony that looks remarkably like the ceramic cat and names it after her, signaling his commitment to surviving and caring for his cat the way the old woman lived for her ceramic collection.

what I've learned from having other people edit my work is that I have a sick addiction to commas

there have been four editing passes on my spider sex book, and each time they take away so many commas. no fresh commas are being added, this is just a continued culling. if you see a comma in the final book please understand that it survived so much

more people need to actually pick a side

yall need to pay attention to your surroundings more

???I'm not???

Thawed cheese? As opposed to???

ok maybe there's some more common word for it, but I've only ever heard it as thawing

you mean MELT??? as in MELTED CHEESE????? because it MELTS???????????

okay I'm gonna need you to explain what "thawing" a cheese means to you. is it bringing a cheese out lf the fridge and wait for it to be room temperature? is it heating it up so it's gooey and soft? i need to understand

No the cheese isn't frozen or cold. I don't know what other way to describe it as other than thawing? It makes a noise occasionally and when it stops it's usually done thawing

What actual change happens to the cheese after it “thaws”

What process are you doing to thaw cheese. where do you keep the cheese such that it's not thawed. Which physical properties of the cheese change between thawed and unthawed

ok I cant be the crazy one here. Nobody else thaws their cheese???

I thaw my cheese, but only if I get a block of the stuff, the sliced stuff is better for melting.

no like I said before you don't freeze the cheese! That just dries it out! And the type of cheese doesn't matter. You. Still. Thaw. It.

Can you like take a video of the cheese thawing from start to finish to demonstrate the sound it makes and the process of thawing cheese

Unfortunately I can't. I'm at work right now, and I'm heading out on a trip in 2 days so I already cleared out my fridge so nothing'll spoil while I'm gone. But trust me I'd absolutely do that if I could. This is really frustrating and I GUARANTEE if you all saw it you'd immediately recognize what thawing cheese is. I seriously think I'm just unintentionally using a niche regional name for it which is causing all this confusion

ok looks like im just going to the store. video of thawing cheese when i come back

are you his beautiful wife? you are not his beatiful wife? sad snooting

One time I came home from uni very upset and my younger siblings asked what's wrong. I said that mutated flies in our lab escaped because someone broke their jar. I didn't even realise how scary it sounded to them until I saw their faces lmao. I was upset because we were short on said flies (they don't reproduce very well) and my siblings thought that some crazy radioactive fly monsters escaped and we are all fucked now. Love being a mad scientist in their eyes lowkey

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

if i made a video game where you get to pick the gender of the player character i'd make both the options be nonbinary and you can either have they/them or it/its pronouns. those are your only options

unrestrained summer fun

forbidden blue raspberry candy

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

The ominous temperature in this post is 3.5315π Rrad

i am a SUCKER for characters who start out as copies of other characters but eventually become their own people, their own identities, completely different from who they once reflected