Ain't No Cemetary You Can't Shed

I just want to let you guys know Cornell's entire library is open access (no permissions required) and there are (shocker) many books...

youd think a band named violent femmes would be made up of violent femmes. but it isnt. its dudes

youse may bloody reckon a band name of violent femmes'd be a buncha sheilas after a couple bundy cokes. but it aint. packa blokes.

dudes online used to spend 72 hours on photoshop uninterrupted editing people’s faces to look scary and we called the finished product some shit like jeff the killer and put him in spirit halloween and on wikipedia These days you open tumblr and top of dash is a 42 note edit of jerma’s face so fucked up looking that it could’ve been used to texture a corpse in a y2k valve game and you get a little nauseous and otherwise just keep scrolling. and this is known as “a tuesday

people who put their gum under tables are wild animals they literally do not have higher level cognitive functions. they live in nature.

calling them wild animals is an insult to nature

sorry you’re right i should’ve said baboons

I call my father Babbu but I hate my father Die father

Die Babbu

^ This Die Babbu

Hell on babbu technique

if u think abt it i guess bald ppl are the most aerodynamic. i bet if u shot a bald person out of a cannon they wld fly way further than a haired person

which of course is a huge advantage in day to day life

This is stupid! Were you born yesterday? (the mayfly’s big limpid eyes fill with tears as it looks at me) oh god I’m so sorry oh no oh god

hey man i see the projector in your mind's eye casting the image of a beautiful self indulgent fantasy over my silhouette so i just wanted to remind you before you try any funny business that when its battery dies it's just going to be me here

open tumblr, see something that pisses me off, write a snarky post, delete it, write a slightly more earnest post, edit it for 5 minutes, delete it, close tumblr