i dont use tumblr

please dont vape your blueberry ice flavor around my kid. we are raising him on marlboro reds exclusively.

id lie right to willy wonkas face. “did you drink fizzy lifting drinks” of course not. And then id hit him

This is why you won't inherit the factory.

i dont want the factory. I want to see fear in his eyes

What if everything gets better in 2016

i was todays years old when i realized berrys wasn't short for ben and jerrys its ac5ually a new different thing

do you want to play dead bodies with me

floats along your dash face down and quiet and cold

Settings > Lurking Horrors > Creeping Dread > Configure My Creeping Dread

anyone remember niall horan crawling inside your ear you tell him to stop but he is in there

if i was president of the internet i would require all binary people to write a 3 page gender studies essay before i can issue their license to call that nonbinary character a lesbian or refer to their ships as yuri. you gotta prove youre not just shoving them into the girl-lite box, chief. you gotta earn it. thems the rules.

my dead wife. the ad free internet

watching dreamily recorded footage of a web forum from 2003

\o/ <- woohoo!

<o> <- EXTREME STRESS, LIKE "OH FUCK OH SHIT" STRESS

or2 <- the person is still on their hands and knees but they've got a fat ass now

oGC <- jorkin it