hi my name is anonymous asker, but you can call me anon. i'm a big fan of your posts and i couldn't help but notice in your latest one that you failed to clarify a couple points. one with good faith would fill these blanks, but as someone who values journalistic integrity i must ask if you actually support the act of launching the state of connecticut into the sun for fun?

if you get some coffee and then you drink the coffee then you will have had a coffee drink.

I hate that every social media platform has switched to a video centric format. I fucking hate it. Every app is so loud now. Instagram used to be quite. You could put on music and scroll to see what people are up too. Nope. Now everything has music on it or gets turned into a reel. This is why I fuck with tumblr. It's the quiet website. Just you and and the voices.

getting an envelope from the clown job i just interviewed for and pulling out a seemingly endless chain of rejection letters

if I stop posting for 2 months assume I have been rolled in filo pastry with chopped pistachios then baked in the oven before being soaked in honey and consumed.

if you ever find yourself thinking “wow I scraped the bottom of the barrel with my energy with that and came out okay!” that’s the devil talking. you did not come out okay. you borrowed energy from the future. you will repay it if you don’t rest and replenish the borrowed energy first.

this one took off quickly - are you guys ok

WIZARD PSA: Chronomancy might be weird and confusing, but one of the few solid rules of the discipline is keep your promises. Time is a library, and you don't want to meet the librarian.

Reblog if you have met the librarian

breaking: scientists are developing a q-tip technique that doesnt damage your ears and also lets it cum directly into your brain

even the hardcore swifties are hating on the latest taylor swift album. nature is healing

skateboard will be so fictionalized that people forget we all have one inside of us. like the war of course but like they arent just fantasy creatures.... its just In There

Why is everyone talking about the rapture suddenly. Did the rapture happen and I missed it

Bahh. I see how it is. When the dangerous crow boy eats plastic he's 'doing great' and 'doing his job', but when I, the humble housecat...!

Please leave it to the professionals

incredibly funny that "and they were roommates" became like. code for being gay. we have no damn CLUE what gossip that woman was talking about we just decided it was homosexual behavior

I hate when I get two problems in a row. They’re all gonna think I’m making it up.

“eldritch horror beyond your comprehension” and it’s just a generic monster with tentacles and eyes

girl I’m comprehending you pretty easily you’re gonna have to try harder than that

in my dnd setting the most eldritch of creatures is an ape that is impossibly wide. Whatever room you're in, this ape is wider than that. Imagine the widest room you can imagine. This ape is wider. It's other proportions remain the same. His name is Wide Ape.

everyone go home we got a winner