If we're all gonna die, let's party!

yessE..... YEAAAASSSSSSSSSA

yeah shoutout to pleasures of the flesh

Fuck this stupid ass country dude we're getting ransacked left and right but don't we love circus and bread

why do men have this eternal fear of being used for money they don’t have lol

now if you'll excuse me... i have images to look at

you can stay indoors all day when the sun is out, and sometimes it's nice like a cool draught from a tranquil spring, but watch out because if you stay indoors for two days in a row while the sun is out you start doing odd gothic literature things, stalking the halls and passages and muttering to yourself and parting the blinds to gaze down at your neighbours with a haunted look before turning away to contemplate your mannequins #yourmannequins. three days and you're basically fucked. you have to throw a towel over your head to scurry as far as the store for milk and people jeer at you like frankenstein's monster.

At work there used to be a sign on a few things that would say like "if this bubbles, run for your life" and "if you hear thumping run for cover" and "bears can and will kill you" and really in general I wish the park service was more willing to say "you are not at home, you are not at disneyland, you can die here and you can die so badly your family will have to bury an empty casket because no one will risk their own life to collect your idiot corpse."

some people like to get mad at disability benefits because they think its unfair people who dont work get a payout from the government while they have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week. but if you tell them "yeah that sucks i think you should also get a universal allowance and not have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week" thats apparently the wrong answer.

Every summer I forget how much I fucking love spiders I’ve drunk one every day this week

Drinking spiders??!

I think that’s called a float in the states. Although we usually plop the icecream into the glass after the soda. Similar effect though.

We wouldn’t be able to call it that because the word is way too easy to confuse with a floater, which is a meat pie floating in a bowl of pea soup. It is every bit as delicious as a spider though. I should get some pies and pea soup.

I would like to announce that this is not a standard Australian food, it’s exclusively a South Australian one and the rest of Australia is just as appalled as the rest of the world.

It’s not our fault that the rest of Australia is incorrect about food.

“average person eats 3 spiders a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in South Australia and BADLY misinterpreted our survey question,,