Fics go here?

I don’t get confused about plagiarism vs art. All ideas gotta come from somewhere. There isn’t a work of art or a piece of writing in this world that is purely original and uninfluenced by things the creator heard, saw, or read. I hope my stuff is good enough to inspire someone else, and as long as they’re using that inspiration to make their own thing and not copy pasting my writing then I see no reason to get upset.

This has happened one time that I know of. While searching for things to read I found a Levi/OC fic that was extremely similar to my first fic, Strange Girl But Effective. But similar is not same. Unless they’re using my oc’s name and directly copying blocks of dialogue, then it’s something else.

I think it would be wildly hypocritical for a fan fiction writer to say they don’t want anyone drawing inspiration from their works. What if the creators of the characters we’re using said the same thing? Then where would we be?

I rented Secretary when video rental stores were still a thing. We should bring those back. Anyway, the point is: I saw Secretary once in 2003. I already knew I was submissive because I had unsupervised access to the Internet, but I was still figuring out what exactly that can mean. I didn't have FetLife or Tumblr or anything like that, so I could only go off of what I could read in bad bdsm erotica and see in bad bdsm porn, which painted a grim picture. I felt like Secretary was more of the same. I thought, "this represents someone and their version of submission, I'm sure, but not me or mine."

I remember, more than anything, feeling like the discourse about the movie had really missed the point. Everyone was talking about how kinky it was, and maybe because I was already consuming a lot of kinky stuff I didn't find the D/s relationship to be at all remarkable. What really troubled and stuck with me about Secretary was how it showed me how few options there were for a woman to exist and survive and thrive independent from men as recently as the 1960's (I don't remember exactly what year the film is supposed to take place during, but I remember a it being very 60's - 70's coded to me.) We really missed an opportunity to talk about self harm as a reaction to forced dependence on the patriarchy (not because we weren't ready for that. Girl Interrupted already came out 3 years earlier). I would have liked just one essay about how maybe all the self hatred the main character in Secretary feels could have been a reaction to living in a society that hates her existence. Is it possible that she finds comfort in the violence her boss inflicts on her because it finally honestly matches what is sociologically implied everywhere she turns? That's the effect the movie had on me. It didn't change anything about how I thought of myself or my sexuality, but it left me desperately wanting for a deeper read that would include historical context, psychology, and feminism. When you see those themes in my writing, that's Secretary and how it influenced me.

The movie isn't bad at what it's doing. It's well written and I think the director did a great job. Everything I'm talking about is there. What failed me was the discourse. Movie critics really started and ended with foaming at the mouth over kinky subversive sex and couldn't form a single thought beyond that, which unfairly left me with a bad taste in my mouth anytime Secretary is mentioned.

Hope all is well with yourself

thank you so much for waiting! i swear i'm almost done with 27. definitely not struggling for ideas, but am struggling for time and energy. i had a baby in July of '25 and she and the first kid keep me very busy and do not let me sleep.

I was gonna do this as its own post, but instead, as a gift to you anon, here are...

R&H headcanons that I've had and failed to fit into the story thus far:

1) there is the smallest reference in chapter 11 "Librarian" to an academic rivalry I headcanoned for Erna from day 1 and just... never got around to... making it a thing. In possibly my favorite scene of the whole fic, Levi and Erna are arguing about her final paper and its merits, and part of it goes like:

She sits down in front of him, wiggles her ass on the desk, and spreads her legs wide. "Tell me I got the highest grade in the class and I'll let you eat me," she purrs.

"You didn't," he deadpans with a straight face.

"What the fuck, then who did?!" she screeches.

"Thought you didn't compare yourself to others."

"Shut the fuck up. Tell me who did better than me and then shut up."

"Bertholdt Hoover."

Erna slaps her palms on the desk again and again, "Ew, mumblecore indie soft boy?! Please be fucking with me! How? What did he write?”

"He wrote a thesis about the influence of transcendentalism on English Romantic poets."

She scoffs. "Of course he did. Bitch." She slides off the desk and stands between Levi's knees, looking down at him. "That kid gets half the awards I submit shit for because he's a straight white guy doing the absolute bare minimum getting good guy points for just existing. His writing is boring and nonthreatening to the patriarchal status quo, and it's fucking insulting. I'm innovative! He's just a shy, boring fake ass soft boy who says he's a feminist but probably doesn't wash dishes or do laundry."

"Neither do you!"

Bert was gonna be more of a presence. Erna was going to complain about him every time she saw him in one of her classes or on campus, because writing is very competitive and he's her main competition. I wanted them to always be up against each other for various writing awards (of which there are hundreds upon hundreds) and for it to be very one sided where she is seething over him and how academia favors straight white men, while he barely thinks of her at all. I just got bogged down in all the characters and all the side plots and bits, and of course the smut. But I swear I'm still doing this. Because Erna whining about the "mumblecore indie softboy" ruining her life is pretty fucking funny to me.

2) this might be overly ambitious, but I wanted to pull Annie into this universe and I wanted to do an unrequited crush thing between her and Armin? Or maybe a love triangle including Armin and Bertholdt? But I dropped that idea on account of juggling too many plot balls.

Sorry it took me so long to answer this despite being the one who posted the asks and hoped for the engagement. idk what's wrong with me.

6) what's your hair routine like? Anything special?

Hair is so emotional. I've had issues with my hair my whole life, because it isn't straight and blond, which the culture and my family have always taught me is the best hair. Until more recent years, my hair was a thick and poofy mess of wild curls. I started turning grey when I was twenty and my hair is at least 75% completely white now. When your hair loses it's color, it's basically losing its life too, and a lot of its curl. So I finally have the effortless smooth beachy waves I've always wanted, but I lost all the pigment. I don't dye it, because, ya know... en esta economia? But I don't want to look old, so I do what I can to keep it healthy and shiny and undamaged. I rinse with freezing cold water, keep it in a bonnet at home, and use sulfate free shampoo & conditioner + a glycolic gloss. I never heat style.

18) are you musical? Play any instruments or sing? Would you ever perform for an audience?

Oh no. Not at all. Music isn't a thing I can do. I know a tiny bit about how to sing because of performing arts education I received against my will, but I have friends who are actual singers and hearing them talk about it for even a few seconds drives home how little I know. I will perform anything else for an audience. I'm very comfortable with speaking in public. But singing? Nah. Nobody needs to hear that.

20) What do you wish someone would ask you?