worm maiden

i bet it feels good to be an underwater plant just swaying in sync with the flow of water

Soccer players are the horses of men’s sports. They run around in fields for hours on end. They stub their toe and they die. They fall and they die. They run into each other and

Dude my coworker left a scrumptious cookie unattended

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult

How is it that you can a music library of like 1,200+ absolute bangers but as soon as you put it on shuffle in a group setting it's like. anime opening you added in 2010. homestuck parody song. musical artist who was cancelled last year for kidnapping and eating children in his basement. Hamilton

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

turn your attention to The Character