hey why does Dwayne the Rock Johnson keep asking his daughter what kind of pancakes she wants over instagram??
Like ???
Dude just loves his daughter and pancakes
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@colinmorgan-a
hey why does Dwayne the Rock Johnson keep asking his daughter what kind of pancakes she wants over instagram??
Like ???
Dude just loves his daughter and pancakes

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You can probably tell which family member is coming upstairs by their step pattern but wouldnât be able to pick out your own
If my own footsteps were coming down the hall towards me I reckon I would have bigger problems on my handsâŚ
i work at a gym largely frequented by older women, and today as one of them left after her workout she accidentally pulled the entire door handle off and just slowly looked at her bicep in horror as if she was terrified of her new strength. it was beautiful.
*writes I LIKE GIRLS on every other page of my journals so future historians donât try to insist that Iâm straightâ
Future straight Historians: âwe see several examples of her prioritizing a sisterly bond with the women around her, for example on page 12 she says âI like girlsâ and throughout the text she references loving women and preferring their company. This is not to say she prioritized above her romantic relationships because on page 78 she mentions talking to a man one time in her life. Itâs hard to know just how much she valued her sisterly bond with women due to this one reference of men and the ambiguity of early 21st century slang. For example on page 12 when she said she liked women, the passage continues ââŚin a lesbian way. I want to kiss girls, they are so pretty, Iâm so gay.â Now itâs difficult to understand just what that sentence means. We know that in the early 21st century kissing on the cheek in greeting had gone out of vogue but the word gay, a word with an archaic meaning of happiness gives the contextual clues that perhaps she is references that old fashioned practice.
Going back to the nameless man that is mentioned once on page 78 for one sentanceâŚâ
âNow, given that she wrote on page 12, âJust to be clear: Iâm sexually and romantically attracted to women exclusively,â one may be tempted to read this literally, but we canât rule out sarcasm.â
It may seem like @vilesbian is joking, but she really isnât.Â
One year ago, I told my band director I wanted to learn another instrument so I could be bisectional, as a joke. Today I learned that he posted it on an international Facebook page for band directors, and it has over 3,500 likes and comments. World class musicians I will never know commented about how funny I am, especially since I go to a catholic school. Y'all, I am more famous in the world of band than I am on tumblr. I have peaked, and will never accomplish more than this.
Y'all reblog to make this post more popular than that one please

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me to a waitress when she tells me of a minor inconvenience: no problem! thatâs okay!
waitress: ??! youâre so kind! thank you! iâm so sorry!!
me: are you Ok
me, gently touching the waitressâ arm: who hurt you
im the waitress
its nice to know that this is something that other people do too.
kids have no concept of anything. i walked into my kindergarten class and one kid asked me what my name was. when i said miss jones, he said âi like that name. did you know iâm in love with youâ
i asked my four year old cousin how old he thought i was going to be at my next birthday and he said 8. im 23
once i told a 6 year old that i had finished school and was doing âmore schoolâ [university] and she asked âwhy havenât you found anyone to marry thenâ
We were at a museum and I was asking for the student discount and my nine year old cousin looks up at me with his eyes wide and says âwait youâre a STUDENT??â
I used to babysit these three kids and the eldest who was around 11 at the time was talking about how adults are boring and when I told him I was an adult he said, âThatâs not true, youâre my ageâ
our aunt teaches and she has this story about a little girl who really was always pretty quiet in class and then on the final day of kindergarten she just up and stated âiâm all teached now. i donât need to be teached anymore. iâm done of being teached.â
once when i was 19, I told my little cousin that i was 19 and she looked up at me with huge eyes and went, âDoes that mean you donât have to bring an adult with you to the pool?â
My 6 year old cousin saw me driving for the first time, looked up at him mom and said âdoes that mean she is married now?â
I watched my dad and my niece (3 at the time) arguing over a pair of pants and whether or not they were also a dress. My neiceâs argument was that they were, in fact, also a dress because they were blue.
I asked the kids in my daycare class what they thought I should be for Halloween and this little boy goes, âooh I know! A pickle! Youâd be such a good pickleâ
On the first day of class with my favorite student of all time, I said, âAre you okay? You look like you have a question.â And she looked me right in the eyes and said, tremulously,
âCan a piranha eat a stapler?â
One time I was working with a kid and he looked up at me and asked âDo you have a boy?â I had no idea what he was talking about, but I told him that I did not have any boys. He looked shocked and then deeply concerned and said âWell, you better hurry up and shave your arms so you can get married; August is next month!â
I was sitting on the floor with my 3yo niece and we were playing with her younger brotherâs alphabet blocks and the O had an octopus on it. Â So I picked it up and asked her what it was.
âOctopus,â she said, all curls and smiles.
âAnd what kind of animal is an octopus?â I asked.  I was looking for âfishâ or âsea creatureâ but I would have accepted almost anythingââweird,â âgross,â even âslimy.â  âUnderwaterâ or âit lives in the oceanâ would have also been acceptable.Â
She looks me right in the eye and says, happy as a clam, âItâs a cephalopod.â
I havenât been the same since.
sign me up
see i dont understand what else this could possibly mean
flowers fade the fruits of summer fade they have their seasons, so do we. but please promise me that sometimes you will think of me.Â

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I wanna see all of these idk what u mean
OMG
WHY DID THIS HAVE TO END
OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD
Anakin, Luke, and Reyâs lightsaber
jesus christ lukeâs such a useless twink
anakin: im gonna fuck up palpatine rey: im gonna fuck up kyle luke: this isnt the ugg store
baby: *incomprehensible babbling*
me: WHAT!? really??? no way :0
This is actually really good for babiesâ brain development. Youâre laying the groundwork for conversation, teaching them through example that people take turns talking and listening.
Did you know that babies from affluent families hear an average of thirty MILLION more words before age 5 than babies in families below the poverty line? For context, Les Miserables is about 650,000 words and it looks like this:
So itâs like reading this book 46 times.* And thatâs not the total number of spoken words, thatâs the GAP between affluent and poor babies. And these are the years in which the brain undergoes the most development. Itâs mind-boggling.
So what Iâm saying is: keep doing the thing. Do it to all babies, all the time. Narrate your day. Ask them for opinions. (âShould we buy the large bag of potatoes or the small bag?â âGaabooglagje.â âYes, just as I thought.â) Point out colors and shapes and letters. Let them scribble outside the lines and treat their babble like talk. Sing them nursery rhymes and Raffi songs and songs from the radio. All of these things are going to build their brains to prepare them for kindergarten and beyond.
*Please do not read Les Mis 46 times to an infant. They donât even care about the Parisian sewer system.
I do this with my dog. So far he hasn't developed speech yet, but i'm still hopefull. P.S. He also doesn't care for the Parisian sewer system

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My favorite part about 1931 Dracula is that there are armadillos running around Draculaâs castle.
Look at this itâs like they couldnât find any rats so they just were like âeh close enough no one will noticeâ. But I noticed. I noticed.
âWE NAILED IT BOYSâ
Apparently in the 20s and 30s, armadillos werenât very commonly known, so moviemakers would use them wherever they needed some creepy, âdemonicâ animal running around. So there were a lot of armadillos in early filmmaking, and it was often peopleâs only source of reference for armadillos.
Fast forward twenty years to when the father of the biology professor who told me this is driving out from the east coast to see his son in California. Crossing the southwest at night.
An armadillo runs across the road.Â
He comes to a screeching halt and the Thing Of Evil, which he never knew was actually a real animal, trots the rest of the way across the road and vanishes into the desert.
Apparently it shook him up rather a bit.
@mortalityplays
Ok but what about Draculaâs Bee.
A single, solitary bee with his own tiny custom-built coffin.Â
Nobody ever talks about Draculaâs pet bee.
the armadillos I get, but I still donât understand the solitary bee
why did it have a coffin?
did Dracula just love his pet be that much?
Itâs not a bee itâs a Jerusalem Cricket, included for basically the same reason as the armadillo
excellent pre-halloween content
While that is a cool and good clarification, my question stands
Why did Dracula have a single solitary cricket with his own tiny-built coffin.
Because he could.
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The one ear up, one ear down is killin me