got a taste for the cash and androgyny

lemon is so so so fucking good in sweet food and savory food and spicy food and salty food and drinks. she has it all

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

I hope you get your favorite food this week and your favorite drink and your favorite 2k dollars

I'm sorry there's no magic in this post I'm just talking. I hope good stuff happens to people online I hope good things happen to all of us

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.

wait wait okay I have discovered people visiting the US for the first time and treating Yellow School Bus like a celebrity sighting and this is so pure and great. Yellow School Bus like in the movies is real.

I am in HYSTERICS

seal point

These wonderful people have a single braincell to share but unfortunately none of them are using it