little realm

… can i use that phrase irl?

Absolutely you can and I encourage more uses of similar phrases that just completely fuck up the chronology of the english langauge. I wanna hear 15th century english mixed with surfer speak mixed with current age internet lingo like all the time.

Like this? Well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of splean as you’re toss’d with. Chill already, you’re not valid.

You are an unrighteous, bastardly gullion. Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk backwards into hell just so that I can beat your ass in the afterlife too.

I love the idea of a vampire who’s language travels back in time as they get pissed.

I grieve for thee in these trying times. Alexa play Despacito

Reading these is like literary whiplash

Historical linguists decide to get especially ancient vampires pissed off in order to study ancient languages

are you telling me that if I get a 5000yo vampire angry enough I can directly test the glottalic theory?

*Pisses off a vampire so much that they teach me Minoan*

@deadcatwithaflamethrower because a. languages! and b. this made me think of Nizar whose vocal patterns shift all the time depending on his mood/the conversation/how pissed off he is with someone/something!

Also reblogging for the update of *Pisses off a vampire so much that they teach me Minoan*

“Once you’ve got your teeth out of my neck, could you demonstrate what Linear B sounds like…?”

Ikemen Vampire but instead of a dating sim it’s a 90s sitcom because the idea of 10+ historical figures from different time periods and countries living together as vampires in a mansion with a human guy as their butler in 18th century Paris is already crazy enough

*lifts up my hat to reveal a tiny vampire bat inside*

not ignoring canon nor strictly adhering to it, but a secret third thing (taking the small bits and crumbs canon barely spent time developing and running absolutely hogwild)

people are so weird about self insert ocs actually. like why wouldn't you want a made up little guy who's like you except cooler and they get to live all your fantasies? what are you afraid of? having fun? free yourself

people will really try to tell you "self insert ocs are cringe" like okay then. when you play a first person pov video game with character customization options do you not style them at least a little bit to reflect yourself as the player? have you never thought about what an ideal version of you with no restrictions would look and act like? do you never imagine yourself in situations? open your eyes

"self insert ocs are cringe" lol i'm hanging out with all my favorite characters in my mind and we aren't even talking about you

hopeless romantic with trust issues