a professional

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

I was trying to figure out why this post starting spiking recently and then I found out you animals had this queued for Mother’s Day

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

and then i go "raaaa!" scare 'em away

big fan that bloodymary is out and proud with it trending, but everyday we breach containment is a singular step closer to markiplier finding out that he is being shipped with ryan fucking gosling, and that is a concept that frightens me

It's important to have one medium you are pretentious about and another medium that shows you also have dogshit taste