૮ – ﻌ–ა ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

my mum said something weird to me today in the car. she was remarking that she had more patience now. she said she wished she knew what she knows now when she first had children. it wasn't an apology or even an admittance of guilt or responsibility for her actions. in fact she treat it more like a funny anecdote that, in her words, "all parents go through." I deeply wish she had any patience for me as a child but she didn't. I don't think I wish this in the same way she does. I think she wants it for her own peace of mind. she was so stressed and angry all the time. she wasn't happy and she did it to herself. I wanted it so my mother wouldn't hurt me. I wanted it so I could grow up in a home where I felt safe and loved and supported. I don't think she's even considered this

y'all anniversary effect is real