but it's weak and broken and it's covered in gasoline

If you can roll up a coin you deserve to snort coke imo

oh

breaking up with him isn't enough you need to kill him

On the small soggy wet archipelago that makes up the modern day united kingdom, sunny days are a rare phenomenon. As such, the peoples of england cherish each and every one, even going so far as to write songs about them in their local music. With sunlight in such high demand, to block it deliberately is nigh unthinkable, hence their cultural confusion at the invention of the parasol.

this being my most popular post rn is so funny. if yall could see my dms I threaten to eat mikey way at least once a day

Ok u know that like. Period drama shirt. The white shirt men are always wearing in period dramas. The Colin Firth jumps into a lake shirt. Are you visualising this in your mind? Ok now imagine: a butch wearing the shirt. And she has tasteful cleavage. Do you see my vision.

Is there anything worse than talking to a non-Tumblr friend about something, and KNOWING that there's a PERFECT Tumblr reference for the situation they're describing to you but it would take 10 minutes of convoluted explanations to set up, and not only would they probably not laugh at the end but also they would definitely look at you different after.

*sigh* fine, fine, i'll be the new doctor who showrunner. bring me two twinks, britain's tallest woman, and 1000 pounds worth of alumininamian foil

has anyone ever actually seen a shareholder or are we just supposed to believe they actually exist

I did once when I was working in a coffee shop. He was on a business call loudly talking about some tech speculation. When I asked him how it went a few days later, he panicked and asked how I knew such sensitive information. From this I gather they are of weak constitution, and startle easily