Ciel Rouge

the fantasy lesbian adventurer is immune to the seductive evil sorceress's feminine wiles because she's butch4butch

this is exactly why any evil sorceress worth her salt keeps a towering knightgirl in gleaming black armor "on retainer"

well it's one of two reasons anyway

I love the phrase "they get along like a house on fire". It's perfect. You and me have perfect chemistry and it's setting off the carbon monoxide detectors. People are calling emergency services to get us to stop being so chummy. Someone died

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

You know, as much as I'm a fan of horror and time loops, the absolute funniest interpretation I've seen of Dracula Daily is the one that goes that Jonathan Harker is fine and healthy and happy, he's just telling this story to his grandkids. Again. Because they love hearing the Vampire Story.