Unapologetically Me

Your boss, the supposedly intimidating Larissa Weems, was devastatingly beautiful and always had a warm smile for you. You craved her attention, wanting those enticing eyes on you. Jut hearing her voice sent your heart fluttering.

And at night, if you dreamt of her whispering certain things in your ear, hands on your body, lips on your skin, that was your business.

The worst of it was knowing that there was no chance of her being your soulmate. You were sure, despite having no memory of it, that there must have been a brush of skin at some point. In more than an entire year of soft conversations and encouraging words there wasn’t a chance there’d been no skin contact at all.

All it did was make you work harder to keep it under wraps. You had nothing to offer her if you weren’t her soulmate. You knew she deserved the best, and that wouldn’t be you without that burst of colour.

That didn’t stop the way you found yourself fantasising about her. Red lips leaving lipstick marks on your skin. Fingers finding your heat. The way her breath would hitch under your touch. Moans mingling in the air.

One of the best ways to reset yourself when these thoughts began to become overwhelming was to swim. The cool water, the strain on your muscles, the mindless repetitive movements, they helped to clear your head until you could think again.

Hence why you found yourself emerging from the lake on a particularly chilly evening. You’d spent the better part of the day trying to push away the image of being pushed against the wall by a passionate Larissa after a heated meeting in her office. Your crush was growing out of control and you had no way of improving it.

You pushed your hair out of your face as you emerged from the water, shivering in the water. Toes sinking into the mud and silt at the bottom of the lake, you trudged your way out of the water, fresh air and weary muscles giving you the clarity you needed to continue your job.

“You’ve taken to swimming an awful lot lately.”

You blinked, sure you were hearing things. You could do that sometimes, conjure her voice in your mind, whispering things that would never be repeated. You took another step.

“Please don’t tell me you’re training for some kind of race.”

No, definitely not in your head. You looked up, no longer watching your feet to keep from slipping. Larissa was there, standing just far enough back from the edge of the water to keep from getting her shoes wet. She had that half smile on her face you’d come to know and her eyes were sparkling with mirth.

“No, no race. I’m not sure I’m really the athletic type,” you replied, suddenly aware of how little your swimming costume covered. The cool wind bit at your skin and you shivered. Her eyes travelled down your body and back up, concern marring her features.

“And yet you swim with an ease not often seen outside the sirens,” she replied.

You took another step forward. Your foot landed on the bottom before the floor fell out beneath you. You cried out, one foot sliding away from you as the other seemed to be trapped in concrete. There was a reason you watched each step carefully. You cursed her, Larissa, for being so distracting. You squeezed your eyes closed tight, the inevitable fall looming closer.

Strong hands caught you, one wrapping around your waist, the other landing on your shoulder. You opened your eyes, finding blue eyes peering down at you, red lips turned down in worry. You grasped Larissa’s arm, letting her haul you back onto your feet. Without a word, she swung your legs up, out of the water, depositing you on the grass.

“Thank you,” you said, not quite sure where to look. You’d been in her arms, for a fraction of a second, the whole world coming down to that contact. You didn’t know what to do with yourself now.

“Think nothing of it,” she replied.

Her hand was warm where it still rested on your shoulder. It was making it hard to think, her thumb brushing against your skin. You felt goose pimples rise, hoping she’d assume it was from the cold.

“Although I am now a touch damp,” she said said.

You let your eyes run over her body and yes, there was water clinging to her dress. Your cheeks flamed as you looked at her, knowing this was your fault. If you’d only been paying more attention. If you hadn’t let her distract you. If you could only get your crush under control.

“Oh no,” you said, reaching out, finger tracing over a damp spot close to her hip.

You heard her breath hitch and you froze. You knew you shouldn’t have touched her, it was too familiar. It would let her see inside your heart.

“Sorry,” you said, drawing back until even her hand couldn’t touch you.

The way she gasped had you whirling around, assuming something was sneaking up on the two of you. It wouldn’t be the first time a monster had been loose at the school. Vulnerable and alone you’d make a perfect target.

Only there was nothing to see behind you. Nothing out of the ordinary at least. The same view as always greeted you. You turned back around, expecting an explanation only to find her looking down at the palm of her hand, eyes wide, mouth falling open.

“What is it?” you asked, certain you’d missed something.

“It can’t be,” she muttered, but you didn’t think it was directed at you.

“What can’t be?”

Her eyes travelled up to you again, sweeping over you. Warmth pooled in your stomach at the way she was looking at you. Hope and incredulity and something unnamed bled through her face. Her mouth opened then closed.

“What?”

You grabbed her hand, staring down at the palm. Across her skin a galaxy of blues and green and purples shone out at the world. Your heart plummeted into your stomach. You dropped her hand like it was made of flames and stepped back.

“Sorry,” you said, “I’ll uh, I’ll just head inside and dry off.”

“You don’t want to talk about this?” she asked.

“What’s there to talk about?”

She reeled back as if you’d just slapped her. You took your own step back, horror sliding over your face. You had no idea what had just happened. The way she was looking at you, there was no longer any trace of hope.

“I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea,” she said, “I apologise for any disappointment this has caused.”

“No I’m not disappointed. I’m happy for you. Congratulations. Do you know who it is?” you asked, “it must have happened recently for you to have not noticed until now.”

“Do I…” her eyebrows drew together, “darling, it’s you.”

You shook your head, tears springing in your eyes. You hadn’t thought she was cruel. Intimidating when she wanted to be, but not cruel.

“Don’t do that,” you said.

“Darling.”

She raised her hand, that hand, fingertips grazing against the skin of your shoulder. You jerked away, not needing this newly flirtatious behaviour when you knew she had found her soulmate. The new pet name was already ruining you.

“Look at your shoulder,” she said, a note of command entering her voice.

You shook your head again, taking another step back. Only this time, she took one forward, closing the distance.

“Darling, look at your shoulder,” she commanded again.

You glanced down. Her finger was back on your skin, making you feel dizzy. It was hard to concentrate on the swirling colours on your shoulder. Her finger traced along the edge of it, almost in an exact imprint of her hand.

“What?” Your brain was having a hard time connecting the dots properly.

“It’s you, darling. You’re my soulmate,” she said, “just you.”

“How is that possible?” you asked, “we’ve known each other for over a year.”

“I suppose skin to skin contact isn’t nearly as common as people assume,” she said, “but it’s happened now.”

“Yes.” You were still watching her finger trace patterns over your skin.

“How do you feel about this?” she asked, “I can understand if this isn’t what you were expecting or wanting.”

Your gaze snapped back up to her. Her expression had dropped, uncertainty in every line. You reached up, your hand hovering over her cheek, not quite making contact, not wanting her look like that ever again. Not when it came to you.

“Larissa,” you breathed. You didn’t know what was showing on your face but the concern began to ease, “I’ve had a crush on you since the moment I met you.”

A smile bloomed over her face, bright and wide and you weren’t sure you’d ever seen such joy in a person. Her hand began to move further up your shoulder, growing closer to your neck. You shivered again, now arching into her touch.

“That is a relief to hear,“ she said, “I was beginning to think I was in this alone.”

You cupped her cheek, a sigh parting her lips at the contact. She was too beautiful, your heart constricting at the sight. It was finally hitting you, that she was yours. Your soulmate.

“Larissa,” you said.

“Yes, darling?”

“If you don’t kiss me right now, I might combust,” you told her.

Her smile turned from bright joy into something more predatory. Your breath caught in your throat and heat exploded in your cheeks. That hand travelling over your skin grasped your throat, pulling you closer to her. You let out a surprised squeak.

“We can’t have that now, can we?”

The first brush of lips was surprisingly sweet. You whimpered, cupping the back of her neck, pulling her against you. Something in her broke. She growled into your mouth, her hand pressing against your lower back, keeping you tight against her body.

Her tongue swept into your mouth, dominating the kiss. A moan rumbled through your chest and you clutched at her like she was your life line. She kissed you deeper, taking your breath away. Her groan as you nipped at those red lips sent a jolt of pleasure right between your legs. If you weren’t in public at the school, you couldn’t make any promises about what you would do with her.

She drew away, lipstick smudged, eyes sparkling. She smiled at you, thumb running along your bottom lip. You nipped at the pad of her thumb, watching as her eyes darkened.

“Shall we continue this conversation somewhere more private?” she asked.

You threaded your fingers through hers, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand.

“Lead the way, sweetheart,” you said.