there should be a such thing as a medical detective. you should be able to hire a doctor to figure out what the fuck is going on with you come hell or high water by consulting whatever specialists they can get their hands on, connecting your constellation of symptoms, etc, instead of 10000 different doctors for every distinct bone in ur body that all just kinda go "dang that sucks idk" when you present with more than one fucking symptom

don't be mean to yourself that's you

you live there

chronic pain is kind of like your body screaming “I’m in pain” and you’re like “okay what’s wrong” and your body’s like “oh that part is actually a secret”

”time heals all wounds” WRONG. it merely allows for infection.. it is Too late for me

strong reminder that everything doesn't "happen for a reason". a lot of the time things happen, and it's not a test or a punishment or predetermined. sometimes you get cancer or lose the ability to eat or can't walk and it doesn't have any greater meaning. i know as a species we love pattern recognition to try and avoid bad things from happening but that doesn't mean whatever explanation people make up to rationalise the fact that anyone can be disabled no matter their status or moral character any more truthful

Chronic illness sucks because you’ll catch yourself thinking shit like ‘I wish it was possible to bathe regularly’ or ‘they should invent a digestive system that doesn’t hurt’ and then realise… that’s actually the case for most people. That’s the norm. Not only do most people have that, they don’t even think about it

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all