These are a few of my favorite things

Stand Up and Speak Now - a project for my Psychology of Gender class

Me: “Sad.”

Thoughts from a girl in love with a girl who’s in love with a boy

Lady Gaga Joanne Tour SF Highlights

When you’re chronically ill you spend a lot of time and effort trying to be positive. You do your best to take your meds. You try to keep up with self care as much as you can. Plus you usually have additional responsibilities such as caring for your pets. When your indepence has been lessened or even stripped entirely your reliance on others increases. Given your fatigue, mental exhaustion, pain and symptoms it’s easy to get frustrated. It’s easy to lash out at the people closest to you. It’s easy to be easily annoyed or frustrated. Sometimes you try so hard not to be bothered by the constant pain that you have no patience for what you deem to be stupid questions or maybe even talking. Essentially you start using knives because you have no more spoons. This is understandable, this is okay. But it’s hard for non spooners to understand. I encourage you to speak to your caregivers and loved ones at a time when you’re feeling okay enough to. They just don’t understand our perspective so try to shed some light on the situtuation. It may just help all parties involved.

Too bad you’re enjoying it with your boyfriend

This girl is exhausted but so excited! I had a great doctors appointment today. One where you leave with hope instead of despair - imagine that. I actually did my own grocery shopping. And! I went out for a drink with my mom. 😱. Tomorrow I get to see one of my best friends and favorite people. Before starting iv antibiotics there’s no way I would have been able to do these things. Tomorrow I would have to wait for someone else to drive me to pick up my friend and then all I’d be able to do with her is watch movies. We’re probably still going to do exactly that but I’m so thankful that I’ll actually be able to be more mentally present in the time with her than I have been all year. Thursday I have my second PT appointment at the new place I’m going and I’m so excited! I’m also really hoping to get set up to work on my neck too 🤞🏻🤞🏻. AND it’s almost Christmas!!! https://www.instagram.com/p/BrhD8WzHOjw/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1sn1syhv7dldm

Sexy new knee braces. Ha ha. But honestly I’m super excited about these because now I can safely work on building the proper leg muscles with my knees in the right place and not have to worry about all the damage that is being done from my kneecaps being so loosey-goosey! Also they were covered by insurance and a representative came to me and fit me for them! #blessed #butreally https://www.instagram.com/p/BrHeVMth2YO/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=6208c7sdoojs

Meet Peter-Parker-Picc-line. He is my new bff and my new worst enemy. Overall I’ve been super lucky so far - knock on wood. This gives me vein access 24/7. It is a catheter (a small tube) that has been threaded up my vein to a spot just above my heart.!The blue dot is a “bio-patch” which helps keep infections out of the hole in my arm! My picc is a double-lumen that’s why there are two tubes branching off of it. One tube is used for meds and the other (the red one) for blood draws. The long clear tubes are extension lines so I can take care of it myself. This is a semi-permanent fixture in my body. Typically they are used for up to six months. From now until my doctor decides, this stays. The dressing and extension tubing get changed but this doesn’t come off or out until further notice. The hardest part is it can’t get wet. I have to wrap it before showers or baths and I can’t go swimming. Caution around children and animals is a given because I’d really hate to get it yanked out. My four year old niece is so good about it she reminds me to be careful with my “pickle-hyne”. 🥰 https://www.instagram.com/p/BrB0bNZh1c_/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=q03q2xjkme8f

Continuing on my challenge to myself this was today’s yootd (yoga outfit of the day). This picture is real. I’m standing up straight but not sucking it in, my bra is inside out, my armpits have not been shaved for weeks, my picc-line is all over the place, my hair is down because the 30min ponytail for yoga was too much on my head. But I did it. I did #yoga and now I’m going to post this #unedited photo (okay I edited the color a little because I’m a #vampire and live in a cave). Loving yourself isn’t easy but it’s so important https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq_Dhk4hxht/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1uoxs8xyk2b16

Post yoga realities. First of a I recently decided that I’m going to do my daily yoga in a sports bra and pants. I hate looking at my body so I’ve decided to make yoga a time for healing physically and mentally and basically force myself to look at my body then hopefully start loving it. Second - I fully planned on getting up and posing in front of my mirror very #instamodel like but my body said no. https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq1JpIagomF/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=17s8vk7prjj0m

Happy national coming out day

Thank You