#breaking up

“Why did you let her wrap her hands around your arms? You hate it when I do that.”

She got no answer just crickets from him.

“Fine Don’t answer. You just love confusing me.”

“Fine. What do you want me to say? That I like making you jealous?” He screamed his eyes tearing up.

“You stopped kissing me in the morning. You stopped talking when you got home from work, or asking what I was doing, or if I wanted to eat my mom’s food from those Pyrex containers she sent because I was homesick.”

“You pushed me away first.”

“I’m not used to constant affection. I can only take so much attention before I feel drained... but that didn’t mean I didn't want your love.”

“Why couldn't you just say that with words? Why the side-eye, the pushing, the ignoring?” She retorted back.

“I don’t think our strings connect. There has to be someone better out there for me, I bet I have a better chemistry with the mailman..... at least he smiles at me in the morning” she said sadisticly trying to hurt his feelings.

I’m looking for honest opinions because I’ve been too close to this situation for a while now. My ex and I broke up about a month ago. He was the one who ended the relationship. At the time, he said he needed to “step away” because the relationship had become unhealthy and we had lost mutual respect. But he also told me things like: He still loved me. He wanted to be with me. The breakup wasn’t necessarily permanent. He wasn’t going to date, flirt with, or see anyone else. If we were meant to be together, we’d find our way back to each other someday. So from the beginning, I wasn’t given a clean breakup. I was given a breakup with an open door and no timeline. The part I’m struggling with now is how he describes what happened. He often says he felt “forced” to break up with me, or that it was “both of our decisions,” even though he was the one who actually ended the relationship. I fully accept that I made mistakes. I’m not claiming I was the perfect partner, and I know I contributed to problems in the relationship. Another piece that hurts is that he previously stayed in an unhealthy marriage for years, yet our relationship lasted only about six months before he decided to end it. I know every relationship is different, but it’s hard not to internalize that as, “I wasn’t worth fighting for.” At the same time, he says he panicked, wasn’t willing to risk losing me, and that he wants to be with me. Those statements seem completely at odds with the decision to end the relationship. So I feel stuck in this strange in-between place where I’m expected to understand why he left, continue proving myself, and hold onto hope, while there’s no clear indication that he’s actively working toward reconciliation. This is where I need outside perspectives. Does this sound like someone who genuinely intends to rebuild a relationship but is moving slowly? Or does it sound more like someone who wants to keep me emotionally attached without actually committing to rebuilding anything? I’m especially interested in hearing from people who have experienced genuine reconciliation after a breakup. Looking back, what made you realize your ex was truly working toward getting back together rather than simply keeping you emotionally invested? I don’t want validation that he’s a bad person. I’m genuinely trying to understand whether I’m interpreting this situation realistically, or whether I’m holding onto something that isn’t actually there.

Someone who wants to build a genuine relationship with you doesn't dump you. Block him and move on.

Essentially what happened is that my ex withdrawals under stress, and I react anxiously and seek reassurance. We’ve had a lot happen in the last six months (3 deaths, health issues, a job change, etc.) and ultimately because of the health issues he’s been experiencing our sex life became nonexistent and a few months ago he initiated a conversation about finding ways to still make me feel wanted and desired, but the conversation never really went anywhere, I was focusing on trying to feel connected in other ways, and I see now where we both went wrong. A week and a half ago, he spent the night at my house (we live a few hours apart) and in the morning he broke up with me by leaving the keys to my house hidden on the counter and had me walk him outside, kissing me goodbye and acting like it was normal. We had a big blow out over text when I found the keys, he shut down, I panic spiralled, and ultimately decided that we would take a few days to cool down before we spoke. The other day we met up to exchange some things, and we actually had a good conversation, he opened up more than he had, I left space for him to actually hear me without blurting everything out at once and overwhelming him. And he told me that he is completely burnt out and he’s working on it, that he didn’t entirely want to break up but he felt guilty about not being as invested in the relationship, and for now what he really needs is his best friend, and could we do that for now? There’s no guarantee of us getting back together, but there is hope. I told him that I want him in my life because I do, he’s a great person who handled a tough situation in a shitty way, but he’s a good man. I also told him that it’s going to be hard for me, because I do love him, but that I want to be friends and work on ourselves, and essentially told him that if he is ever ready to try and explore more again that he can tell me, but I’m going to work on myself and that I’m not going to wait, and he said good, he doesn’t want me to. How do I address the elephant in the room about if/when one of us is ready to start dating, but decides to look elsewhere? The thought of being best friends with him and then not knowing until he’s actively looking to meet someone else is causing a lot of anxiety for me and I don’t want that to be a problem in our friendship.

I’ve been in a 3 year long relationship and my girlfriend has a lot of mental illness, she has anxiety,depression, ADHD, panic disorder just to name some. I don’t know how to break up because I am no longer happy in this relationship and just want to be left alone. I never get to hangout with friends anymore or even have dinner with my family bc she ALWAYS wants to be with me and hates eating anything but fast food. Anyways I just don’t know what to do because she has a few panic attacks every day and when she does I just want to leave and get out and break up with her so bad because of how she acts and treats me during them but I know that would be a asshole move to leave during something like that. But when everything is fine I second guess myself and tell myself nothing is going wrong in the moment so I can’t just out of nowhere breakup with her. I feel like we’ve been together to long to do it over text but idk I’m just so over it she’s with me every day all day 24/7 365 and I just can’t anymore. Any advice on how/what I should do??