GOT Recap: Iron Throne
Airdate: Â 5/19/19 Â Season 8, Episode 6 (Finale)
Well, here we are, everybody! Â The Game of Thrones Finale has dropped and I for one was completely loving it. Â It was so riveting and they were totally able to justify Danyâs mad queen arc, Â plus, the way they tied up all the loose ends was truly spectacu ---oh for the love of god, I canât do this anymore! Â Hereâs the truth: Â The finale was GARBAGE! Â It was disappointing and boring and, honestly, we all deserved better. Â I know people say âYou canât please everybody.â Â I get that. Â But, dude, when the majority of people ainât happy, youâve done messed up.
That said, itâs dunzo and now we all can walk around dazed, like the survivors of Kingâs Landing, trying to make sense out of the madness.  I suppose, in a way, Iâm grateful that the previous episode was so god awful, because it really helped me prepare for a let down.  So in that sense, expecations were met.  Letâs remind ourselves how this series, as a whole, was truly a special thingâŚmost of the time.  Itâs just too bad it had to end this way.  This is by far my least fave episode to recap, but I canât just let the final notes of the Song of Ice and Fire go unplayed, so here ya have it:  My final GOT recap of âIron Throneâ:
Yo.  The massacre of Kingâs Landing is over â or is it? Tyrion Lannister -clearly not considering his own life or survival- has decided to stick around and take a long walk through the charred human remains and toppled buildings.  Jon Snow and Ser Davos follow him, equally stunned by the devastation.  White ash covers everything. We see a handful of shell shocked survivors as Tyrion passes through the streets to make his way to the Red Keep.  Jon tells him not to go in without backup, but Tyrion insits on going it alone. He gets into the castle and makes his way through the ruined map room and down the stairs to check on the secret passageway that he told his bro about.  Itâs all moody and sadâŚbut also confusing, because we saw the ceiling collapse last episode and it didnât seem like there would even be a basement left to go to.  But maybe Iâm just being a stickler for things that make actual sense.  Tyrion finds a giant pile of rubble blocking a passageway. A hint of light peeks from the top and he manages to climb and pick his way past the blockage.  Seems totally safe to me to disturb the unstable structure and debris. Â
On the other side, there is another huge pile of rubble and Tyrion spies Jaime Lannisterâs golden hand peeking out of the rocks.  Yeah, thatâs right, the ceiling - and presumably entire structure - came crashing down on Jaime and Cersei Lannister last episode and yet here we are with body pieces barely covered.  Tyrion clears away a few bricks and voila! He has excavated Jaime and Cersei â nestled close together.  That whole thing is soâŚwhatever.  I mean, Tyrion seems pretty upset, but when you look at the surrounding scene youâre just like âSoâŚif Jaime and Cersei had simply stepped a few feet to the right, they wouldâve been fine?â  Itâs all kinda dumb, if Iâm being honest.  But Tyrionâs feelings are real, and heâs devastated to see his siblings dead in each otherâs arms.
As Jon and Davos make their way through the city to the Red Keep, they come across Grey Worm with a handful of Lannister soldiers on their knees, about to be executed. Â Jonâs all âWhoa, man. Â The fightâs over, these dudes should be prisoners!â Â And Grey Worm is all âIâm following my queenâs orders to kill her enemies.â Jon wants to talk to his superior â aka Daenerys â and Grey Wormâs all âCool, let me know how that works out.â He proceeds to cut the throats of each of the kneeling men. Â Yowzers, that is cold! Â
Meanwhile, Arya Stark walks up to the crowd of Dothraki who are hooting and celebrating outside the Red Keep. Â Itâs nice to know that the symbolic white horse at the end of last episode was able to carry her a full two blocks and then disappear for his next Lyft fare in Kingâs Landing â itâs surge pricing right now, people.
The Unsullied stand at attention, lining the long stairway up to the Red Keep and Jon slowly walks up. Grey Worm is already there â dude, the Unsullied are FAST! Tyrion stands to the side. Â Drogon swoops overhead and lands in the courtyard and a few seconds later, Queen Daenerys Targaryen walks out to the top of the stairs to address her loyal Dothraki and Unsullied troops. Â
She speaks to the crowd in Dothraki and then High Valyrian and gives a super creepy Hitler-esque speech âThanks for helping me liberate the city, yâall!  You guys have been so supportive and we are not going to rest until we have liberated the entire WORLD from the shackles of life!!!â  All of Danyâs supporters cheer. âAlso, we are going to have a big potluck tomorrow to get to know our 27 surviving Kingâs Landing citizens! This is a reminder that Iâm making my famous ambrosia salad flambĂŠe  and I really donât want anybody one-upping me, so please steer clear from any and all other pineapple dishes with cool whip, mâkay?  It might just push me over the edge.  You guys are the best! See you tomorrow at 3pm near the charred moms and toddlers where the garden used to be!â Jon and Tyrion donât understand a word she said, but theyâre pretty sure it ainât good.  Of course itâs not â ambrosia salad is not meant to be flambĂŠed, itâs gonna be a disaster. But at this point, nothing Dany does would surprise me anymore.
Tyrion steps forward and stands next to Dany, who goes âYou freed your brother, traitor.â And Tyrion goes âYeah, but you just massacred a city, psycho, so there! Oh and btw, I donât want to be your hand anymore.â Â He removes his pin and tosses it down the stairs â yâall that is a bigger burn than what Dany just did to all of Kingâs Landing! Â Â Daenerysâs guards escort him away. Â Frankly, I thought she would just barbecue him right then and there, so things are going better than expected.
Jon stares warily at Dany who coolly gazes back at him and marches into the interior of the Red Keep. I donât get how anybody can believe this is a sound structure, but then again all the building code enforcers are likely buried under a pile of rubble. Â
Suddenly, Arya pops up next to Jon who is surprised to see her in Kingâs Landing. Â She tells him of her plan to kill Cersei, âbut your queen got there first.â Â Jon is quick to remind her that Daenerys is everybodyâs queen. Â Arya retorts âTell that to Sansa.â She also warns Jon that now that Daenerys knows his secret lineage, sheâll probably kill him one of these days.
Shortly after, Jon pays a visit to Tyrion, whose makeshift prison cell is a room filled with off-season Pier 1 decorative vases.  Talk about cruel and unusual punishment.  Tyrion attempts to turn Jon against Dany and gives him a whole spiel about how people with access to weapons of mass destruction and a penchant for mental instability somehow shouldnât be allowed to be in power.  Jonâs all âMeh, itâs not really my decision to make. Iâm gonna focus on the things I can control â like the tightness of my man bun and the number of steps Iâm clocking on my fitbit.  Dude, this whole Kingâs Landing trip has got me up to 50K steps and itâs not even lunchtime!â âO-kayâŚbut Dany really needs to be stopped.â  Thereâs a bunch of bumbling convo about how Tyrion really did love and believe in Dany and how love clouds reason. Jon tells Tyrion âLove is the Death of Dutyâ and Tyrion is blown away by the poetic insight, then realizes itâs Jon saying it and goes âDid you just come up with that on your own?â âNah, man.  Maester Aemon said it to me once.â  âYeah, that makes more sense.  Well, let me just take that gem, flip it and reverse it:  Maybe sometimes Duty can be the Death of LoveâŚjust sayinâ.â  This wordplay is way too much for Jon to handle and he has to take a seat.  Probably as a defense for the writers to take Dany down the path of crazyville, Tyrion points out all the cruel things Daenerys has done in her pursuit of the crown and he says she was cheered on and thus validated in feeling that she is right and good.  When Jon tells him none of it matters now that the war is over, Tyrion goes âIs it though? She wonât stop till sheâs the queen to everybody in this world â how is your family going to react to that?  And do you really think that she wonât kill you, too, one day â the person with a better claim to the throne?â Finally, Tyrion tells Jon that he has to make a choice â and has to make it now. Visiting hours are over and Jon leaves, making no commitments either way. Just Jon being Jon, folks.
Jon approaches the entrance to the throne room â Drogon is guarding it. Â The dragon stirs from a pile of ashes, gives Jon a once-over and deems him worthy to pass. Â Damn straight, âcause heâs a true Targaryen!
Meanwhile, Daenerys enters the throne room â or rather, whatâs left of it. Â The roof has been blown off with several of the exterior walls missing and the floor is covered with so much ash, it looks like a blanket of snow. Â She stares at the Iron Throne - solitary in the open space -and walks toward it. Â At last, she reaches it and touches one of the swords. This throne has always been so far from her grasp â even in her vision from the House of the Undying she never did manage to touch it - this moment has been a long time coming.
She turns to see Jon Snow at the doorway and she tells him a boring story about her childhood and how she assumed the Iron Throne was this gigantic behemoth of a throne.  Jon is just all âHey, gurlâŚsoâŚyour soldiers are still slaughtering peeps in the street.  Thatâs pretty effed.â  Dany is all calm with crazy eyes saying things like âWe canât hide behind small mercies â sometimes you have to kill a whole bunch of innocent people to save an even bigger bunch of innocent people.â When Jon asks her if sheâs actually seen all the children that sheâs killed in the streets â children, women, men who had nothing to do with any of this, he insists that mercy has to be a part of the vision for a better world. Â
Danyâs just all âIâm a visionary â I get that itâs really hard for you to see the grand scheme here, since you know nothing, but just trust that I know what is good and right.â Itâs a callback to the convo Jon had with Tyrion just five minutes ago. Jon asks âWell, what about everybody else who thinks they know whatâs good and right?â Dany replies, slightly flippantly âThey donât get to choose.â Â She asks Jon to be a part of her awesome dream and of course he tells her âYouâre my queen. Â You always will be.â Â They kiss and embrace. Â
 Then, mid-hug, THWUMP! Jon plants a dagger into Daenerysâ chest. Dany didnât see this coming and is flummoxed.  She collapses and dies in Jonâs arms, a trickle of blood spills from her mouth as he lays her on the ground.
Sensing a disturbance in the Force of the Mother of Dragons, Drogon flies up to investigate. Â He sees him momma lifeless on the ground and gives her a few nudges with his nose âWake up, mama!!!â Itâs all kinda heartbreaking if you can forget the entire last half of the previous episode where Drogon and his mommy were burning up all of Kingâs Landing.
Drogon looks at the dagger in Danyâs chest and then at the Iron Throne and Jon.  He breathes in deeply and you can see the fire near the back of his throat.  Holy Moles, is he going to toast Jon and then we see Jon arise from the flames? Nope. He lets out a huge stream of fireâŚnot on Jon, but on the throne.  What?!  Is Drogon a big dumdum for thinking the pointy throne killed his mom or is he such a genius that he understands the Iron Throne is a symbolism for power, the pursuit of which ultimately led to his motherâs demise?  Weâll never know, but either way, I think we can all agree itâs a weird reaction coming from the dragon.  But it looks cool, so I guess thereâs that. Drogon melts the entire throne to the ground.  Then he picks Daenerys up gently in his talon and takes off.  Jon is completely unharmed and would ya look at that â no dead body!  Thanks Drogon!  Now Jon can be all âI dunno where Daenerys wentâŚshe said she was going out for some milkâ, and nobody will be the wiser.  #PerfectCrime
We get a close up of Tyrionâs face â he wakes up from his prison cell floor and guards take him to the old dragon arena. Â Judging by the length of his beard, several weeks have gone by. Â Grey Worm leads him to a semi-circle of seated noblemen and women. Itâs pretty much all the noble families left in Westeros - about a dozen or so peeps: Â Yara Greyjoy, the new Dornish prince, Robin Arryn and his adviser, Ser Davos Seaworth, Ser Brienne of Tarth, Lord Gendry, Samwell Tarly, Edmure Tulley and a few faces we donât recognize, plus the three Stark siblings: Bran, Arya and Sansa.
When Sansa asks where Jon is â he was supposed to be at this meeting - Grey Worm replies that heâs their prisoner and the Unsullied get to decide who earns a get out of jail pass to attend the Westerosi Nobles Summit. Â Hold the door, people!! Wait a second. Â First of all: Â Jonâs milk cover story didnât work??? Â Also, are we supposed to assume that Grey Worm has just been hanging out twiddling his thumbs waiting for somebody to tell him what to do? Â Isnât he second in command to Daenerys and thus the new person in charge? Â Wouldnât Tyrion and Jon be dead already for their crimes? Â And who called everybody for this summit anyway? Â Ok, none of these questions will be answered, so letâs get back to the action:
The gist of the gathering is that all the nobles have to decide what to do next, since there isnât a monarch to make any decisions for the realm. Â Tyrion, the prisoner, is the dude who gets to do all the talking and comes up with a plan where all the nobles should just get to vote on who should be king. Â Sam suggests they try a democracy and everybody yucks it up. Lame. Â Edmure Tulley tries to nominate himself and Sansa tells him to sit the eff down. Â
Then Tyrion goes on to suggest that the person with the best stories should get to be the ruler â because, ya know, itâs stories that unite people.  And who has a better story than Bran Stark? UmâŚpretty much all the other perfectly qualified women in the half-circle.  Sansa objects that Bran doesnât want to be king and besides, he canât have kids.  But for Tyrion, this is a minor detail:  Who better to rule than somebody who doesnât want the power?  And letâs just elect rulers rather than passing down the throne via birthright!  From now on, all the nobles will get to vote for their next king or queen.  When Tyrion asks Bran if heâs ok being the Big Kahuna, Bran with his super dead-in-the-eyes mug goes âWhy do you think I came all this way.â  HOLD THE DOOOOOOOR, people!!!! Are you saying Bran knew this WHOLE time that he was going to be king?  Are you kidding me?  Is this the dumbest thing ever?  Do I now have to pick apart a gazillion instances that make this so messed up if Bran always knew where things were going?  No.  Weâll stop here. Â
Everybody votes for Bran except for Sansa who goes âI love you little bro, youâre gonna be awesome as king but I canât support you because the North is going independent baby. Weâre ruling ourselves!!!â And Bran just nods.  Now everybody else feels like a total moron for not putting in any special requests for their regions when they voted âAyeâ for Bran. Ha, suckers!
Finally, to conlude this extremely boring scene, Tyrion names Bran king and puts in a super offensive name in his official title:  Bran the Broken, first of his nameâŚyadda, yadda.  Bran looks around at everybody super hurt and goes âYou guys have been calling me that behind my back this whole time?!â  To get back at him, Bran tells Tyrion he has to be hand of the king. Grey Worm is all âYou canât do that! Heâs our prisoner!â  And Branâs all âI can do what I want cause Iâm king! Nanny, nanny, boo, boo!  Also, Tyrion messed up big time and now he has to dedicate the rest of his existence to fixing his mistakes.â  Um, seems like a pretty cush job to me, frankly. Â
They also throw in that the Unsullied can take The Reach as their own land, since pretty much nobody in Westeros lives there anymore. Â Itâs the equivalent of telling them they can have Nebraska, and guess what? Â Nobody wants it.
Next, Tyrion visits Jon, whose beard is also looking cray from all the weeks of growing it out. Â He gives him the news: Â The Unsullied wanted Jon dead and the Stark sisters wanted him released, so Bran hit a compromise wherein Jon has to go back to the Wall and live out the rest of his days there, just like a regular Nightâs Watchman: Â No wifey, no kids, no lands. Â Jonâs all âWhy the hell is there even still a wall?â ââDuh, because.â
We see a freshly groomed Jon walk through the docks of Kingâs Landing, accompanied by two dudes from the Nightâs Watch. Â Grey Worm gives him the stinkeye from his ship â the Unsullied are heading to Naath. Hey, maybe Grey Worm can find himself another nice girl from there! Â
Jon says goodbye to his siblings/cousins. Â Sansa is now queen of the North, which is pretty much what she always wanted. Â She laments that they lost their king, though. Â When Jon tells Arya she can still visit him sheâs all, âNah.â She wants to explore the seas west of Westeros where the maps end â so basically, our girl is gonna hang out in Hawaii for the rest of her life, hopefully doing more Eat Pray Loving than colonizing.
Brienne of Tarth is seated with the big Knight-o-pedia book in front of her. Â She finds the entry for Jaime Lannister and adds on to it. Â She is sure to mention that he had the best sex of his life with her, in spite of his tiny cock. Â Or, ya know, she takes the high road and puts in something really nice about him dying while protecting his queen. Â Ugh, Brienne, why you always gotta be so good?
In the Red Keep, itâs time for the very first small council to convene. Â Tryion gets all the chairs ready just so, and then in walk Ser Davos, Samwell Tarly, and Lord Bronn of the Blackwater â he finally got Highgarden, btw. They exchange some banter which falls short.
Soon thereafter Ser Brienne of Tarth and Ser Podrick Payne (awww he got knighted, too) enter with King Bran. Â Bran notes they are still missing a few positions: boring, boring, and dullsville. Then he goes âDoes anybody know what Drogon is up to?â He was last seen flying east and Bran excuses himself to do some Professor X-ing to see if he can find him. Â But of course, we donât actually get to see Bran warg. Â The small council continues with the boring business of figuring out how to spend money on rebuilding Kingâs Landing and it all ends with Bronn gunning hard for new brothels. Â Ugh. Â Seriously.
At the Wall, Jon arrives to be reuinited with his good pal Tormund Giantsbane and also: Â the bestest direwolf of them all, Ghost! Â This time, Jon gives Ghost an affectionate cuddle.
We get a cross-cut of a bunch of dull scenes of Jon, Arya, and Sansa getting dressed and walking. Sansa is crowned Queen in the North, Arya sets sail on a ship with the Stark sigil and Jon walks out to the Castle Black courtyard. Â
In the final scene, Jon heads out on horseback with Ghost and Tormund and a slew of Wildlings returning to their home. Has he abandoned the Nightâs Watch? Is he Lord Commander again and can do whatever the heck he wants? Â Is he finally a ranger and is just going out on a temporary jaunt with his pal Tormund? Who knows. Â But itâs worth noting that the series finishes in the exact same way as it started: Â Men leaving the wall to head North into Wildling territory. The end.
And there we have it: 8 years of Game of Thrones came to a lackluster end with the Starks all on top. Â Iâm still processing the weirdness I feel about the show ending this way. Â Truly, watching the episode was so dull at times that I just wanted it to be over already. While this could have been a much worse end to the series, it certainly wasnât satisfying. Â But after the bombshell they dropped in the penultimate episode with Daenerys going nuts, I guess this final episode of the series didnât have anywhere else to go that would have made it much better.
There are gazillions of cool things that were introduced throughout the previous seasons which were rendered somewhat pointless in the end. Â I would have loved more exploration and explanation of the mythology and its origins: Â The Children of the Forest, the Three Eyed Raven, the Night King, the previous defeat of white walkers and how they came back, the Lord of Light, all the fire priestesses in Essos, where the dragon eggs came from, the faceless men, etc. Â Also, I guess Varysâ letters about Jon being Aegon Targaryen were never delivered â or peeps just didnât care? Â [shrugs] Oh well?
I thought this past season would be bittersweet to watch, but it took such an unfortunate turn in storytelling that I just wanted the bad plotlines to end. Â Season 8 never did live up to the hype of fan theories that were swirling about for two years. Â Can we blame it for coming up short? Â Kinda and kinda not. Â Â All I know is that I feel oddly cheated by the final season. Â Taken as a whole, though, I still love the show. Â I was always blown away by the sweeping visuals, the epic battle scenes, the engaging complexity of the characters. Â The acting, sets, costumes and music were all amazing. Â And of course, there was the joy of ruminating over all the possibilities of what might come in the next episode, and discussing the show with my fellow fans. Very few series are as special and engaging as Game of Thrones and Iâll miss it for sure. Â Itâs nice to know there may be some amount of redemption for the story, when George R. R. Martin finally releases the last two books. So Iâm holding onto hope for a slightly more satisfying end to this saga. Â Thanks for joining me on my recap adventures each week! Â Itâs been a fun ride. Â And now my âcaps have ended. Â Sorry, but I had to.












