Double Date with ATEEZ, Episode 1: Utopia
Welcome back! After last week’s introduction, we’re officially starting our double dates with our band of pirate and cowboy time travelers known as ATEEZ.
I spent last week trying to learn all the lore behind this group. Their music videos tell a complex story that makes Lord of the Rings look like a Post-it note. I found a website (ateezstoryline.com) that explains it through the use of a Mӧbius strip, alternate dimensions, an ancient Mayan artifact exhibit at the National Museum of Korea, and something called Halateez. If you’re into the lore, check out the website. You don’t need it to enjoy the music, but it’s quite the trippy little rabbit hole to dive into.
We open with our boys in a playroom setting. Like I said last week, huge props to the set designer. I started this series thinking that a group with such a wild reputation needed a darker, more dangerous-looking set, but now that I’ve gotten to know them a little better, I like how the set taps into the group’s more whimsical, playful side.
ATEEZ realizing they’re sitting on their juice boxes
Yunho tells us they’ve had “an absolutely dreamlike day” recently. San explains that they each went on a double date with another member. They were taking a break from comeback preparation (these episodes were filmed a year ago). They promise to show us a real, unfiltered side of their daily lives.
Wait. What we’ve been seeing up to this point has been filtered? Buckle up, kids.
Mingi, who has gone from blonde to dark brown hair between episodes, says he had so much fun filming his date, he forgot the cameras were there. The others aren’t buying it for a minute. They accuse him of changing the way he walked when he knew the cameras were on. I do get a kick out of the fact that these guys aren’t afraid to call each other out in front of company. Another example is when Yeosang says he was concerned at first that he wouldn’t get along with his date. He’s talking about one of HIS OWN BANDMATES. I cannot wait to see which one it is. Judging by the way San is glaring at him, I have a theory.
Captain Hongjoong tells us we’re going to watch footage of all the dates, and then they’ll vote on the best one. They call it the Best Date Mate, or BDM. The best date will get a prize, which I hope will be an all-expenses paid trip to intensive care, because these guys have not even BEGUN to insult each other. (“Can we vote for someone who’s not our own date?” Wooyoung asks. I’m just going to go ahead and ship him some Neosporin and Band-Aids.)
Enough bickering. Let’s start the dates. Our boys will serve as panelists as they watch the videos along with us, so this promises to be chaotic. Let’s go!
Our first video opens on Hangang Park, a recreational area in Seoul that’s so big, it actually consists of twelve smaller parks filled with soccer fields, hiking trails, tennis courts, swimming pools, and a river for water sports. (Thank you, Wikipedia.) We’re starting with Wooyoung, who is flying a kite.
He’s joined by his date, Hongjoong, who brings two cups of ice cream. (“That’s straight up flirting!” Mingi exclaims. I’d like to take this opportunity to remind Mingi he’s in a group that regularly grabs each other’s butts onstage.)
We now cut to Hongjoong and Wooyoung in a confessional, and again, please give ALL the awards to the set designer. I never would have thought to decorate a set with giant glowing ice cubes and light sabers, but it totally works.
We learn that the show’s producers are the ones determining the pairings, so no one knows who their date will be until they show up for filming. We go back to our date in the park, where Wooyoung asks his captain if there were any group members he would have found it difficult to hang out with. He’s asking him this on camera, knowing he’s being filmed. These guys just love poking the bear.
Hongjoong names Jongho and Seonghwa because he’s not sure what activities they might drag him into. Back in the studio, Hongjoong tries to explain himself, but Jongho and Seonghwa are too busy laughing because they know he’s right.
As he scrapes the last of his ice cream from the cup, Wooyoung says he’s glad he’s not on a date with Mingi. Doesn’t even think about it or anything. Just says, “For me, Mingi.” Back in the studio, Mingi punches Wooyoung in the arm.
It looks like we’re going to find out all our pairings before they go on the actual dates. We move to another part of the park, where Yeosang is waiting at a food court table, checking messages on his phone. Jongho arrives with drinks.
These two are polar opposites, so this should be interesting. In the studio, the others joke about how Yeosang is stuck entertaining the maknae. I can’t imagine what it’s like being the youngest in a group like this. But it’s about to get worse for Yeosang, as Jungho asks him who his top three picks were for a date. Again, he’s asking this on camera.
Yeosang chooses Wooyoung as his first date pick. Yeosang. Dude. Your date is sitting right there, so the correct answer should have been, “Why YOU, of course!”
But that’s not the biggest problem. Back in the studio, San’s ego is bruised because he wanted to be Yeosang’s first choice. Wooyoung jumps to his feet and cheers at being Yeosang’s first choice. (Fun Fact: San has matching friendship tattoos with Wooyoung. I’m guessing San’s next date will be to a hardware store so he can get a belt sander and remove both tattoos himself.)
Back to the date footage. Feigning hurt feelings, Jungho gets up and says they should just get this date over with. Yeosang laughs and explains that Wooyoung has been his friend for ten years now. They met as trainees at Big Hit Entertainment, the label behind BTS. (Back in the studio, a still-pouting San says, “So what?”)
San gets even sulkier when Yeosang says his second pick would be Jongho and third would be Yunho. Wooyoung crows, “San, you didn’t even make it to the top three!” Wooyoung, please be careful. San is now quietly seething, and I truly believe both Wooyoung and Yeosang are going to wake up tomorrow to find a horse’s head in their beds.
Now we cut to Yunho. He’s taking pictures while waiting for his date, and this is one gorgeous park. Mingi approaches with two drinks, the straws tucked behind his ears.
They sit at a table, surrounded by all the greenery, and I just love this place. Mingi says he recently went to Seoul Forest Park with his mom, and his bandmates in the studio call him ATEEZ’s official good son. He also gets called a princess a lot by the fans, and I’m guessing it’s because he likes the finer things in life. We’ve already learned he prefers sipping whiskey to drinking beer.
We hear from these two separately in confessionals. Yunho says, “I think it would be interesting to see how we get along, because we have completely different points of view, even on the same topic. Surprisingly, Mingi and I tend to think a lot, and there’s a serious side to us. So if there’s a topic thrown at us, he’s a friend who can talk about it all day. I think we are both like that.”
Hard cut to Mingi in his confessional. He says bluntly, “We’re not compatible at all.”
Mingi explains that the two have come a long way after years of fighting over small things. Yunho is empathetic and tactful, and Mingi is pragmatic and straightforward. We go back to their date. “How do you think the other members are paired?” Yunho asks. “I’m not interested in that because it’s not me,” Mingi answers, only half-jokingly.
They’re the ultimate odd couple. If they can get through this date without strangling each other, marriage counselors should show the footage to their clients. I’m already hoping he and Yunho win the best date prize.
Right after I type that, Yunho asks, “What are you interested in besides you?”
Mingi locks eyes with Yunho. In a voice that stops my heart, he says, “You.”
Yunho actually blushes, but he makes a quick recovery and says, “Me too. Only you.” He says the second part in English.
What the hell is happening right now? Why am I a flustered mess? I’m a snarky recapper, not a shy schoolgirl. I need to take a break. Excuse me.
Okay. I’m okay now. That was weird. Where were we?
Thankfully, we’re moving on to our next pairing. We cut to the Jongno 3-ga subway station in Seoul, where San and Seonghwa meet up. I really must visit Seoul someday.
Seonghwa brings a bag of red bean bread. I had to look it up. It’s a slightly sweet bread with a red bean paste filling, and there are a lot of recipes for it online. Way classier than the Krispy Kremes I would have brought.
Seonghwa teases San, saying he can choose the bread or the date with him. San grabs the bread. Apparently, red bean bread is one of his favorites, so it’s not a fair choice. San is also stunned to find out they’ve been paired up and demands a new partner. Sorry, San. Yeosang is enjoying drinks with the maknae. You’re stuck with the Mom of the group.
“I got dressed up for this! I even wore a tie!” Seonghwa protests. He does look sharp. He calls it a “boyfriend look.”
We learn that the pavilion they’re standing in front of is a famous filming spot. Scenes from Squid Games were filmed here. So far, this is the most impressive date yet, as long as Seonghwa isn’t about to make San choose between the bread and a lottery ticket.
In a confessional, San tells us he was actually happy to see his bandmate. He’s just not very good at expressing himself. In my research over the past week, I’ve found many videos showing the contrast between the aggressive beast idol San is onstage and the sweet, shy, polite guy he is in person.
In a confessional, Seonghwa says, “The other members don’t play with San like I do.” He adds quietly, “He will end up coming back to me. Always.”
Okay, my heart stopped again. I am not like this. What the hell are these boys doing to me?
Sitting on the pavilion steps, the two talk about how their bandmates don’t really have hobbies. Even Wooyoung, according to them, doesn’t stay with a new hobby for longer than a month. In their defense, being in a world-famous K-pop band can’t possibly leave enough time for hobbies.
We learn that these two spend most of their time together. “We live together, we’re always together,” San says. “Now we film content together, too. Should we just get married?”
Nope. I’m not falling for this again. I’ve pulled myself together and am not going to get flustered again. Let’s move on.
We have our date pairings. Time for the actual dates. Our boys get text notifications. Before filming, they had all submitted questions they wanted to ask each other, and they had to use ATEEZ lyrics in the questions. Their PR team is really clever.
The first question is from the song “Turbulence.” The question is, “The world from above is scary to look down on. Youth is a journey to find answers to a question mark.” I think we’re missing something in the translation, because it’s not a question in English. We learn that Wooyoung submitted this question, and Mingi actually wrote the lyrics and performs them in the song. Wooyoung chose these lyrics because he wants to know what youth means to his fellow bandmates.
We get some really insightful answers. Mingi says youth is about finding answers. “There’s no exclamation mark, just the question mark,” he says.
Yunho says, “It’s the stage where you try things without even knowing what you’re doing?”
“A state filled with courage, desire, and ambition to try anything,” says Mingi. “As long as you have the drive to achieve something, no matter your age, as long as you have that heart, it’s youth. That moment is your youth.”
I had to take another break to think about that. I am past my youth at this point, but according to Mingi, I still haven’t lost my youth. I wasn’t expecting these intense emotions from a K-pop show about dating your bandmates.
Yunho and Mingi talk about this some more, and honestly, it’s a conversation everyone should hear, no matter your age. It starts around the 40-minute mark of this episode. I recommend checking it out.
Back in the studio, all the members are silent as they process what these two are saying.
Yunho and Mingi close their conversation by promising to remind each other always of their youth, and not letting each other forget. Now I’m wondering if I have the kind of friendships where I could make that promise.
We get responses from the other date pairings, learning what their youth means to them. Seonghwa says the line, “You’re only in your youth because you’re in pain,” and says he’s never really considered how true that is until now.
We learn that he’s overcome a lot of pain in his life to get to this point. I know that’s true of everybody, but after recapping K-pop survival reality shows for over a year, I know there’s a very deep and specific pain that trainees go through, even the ones who do get to debut. I’ve been writing about it for so long, I feel like I have a better understanding of it, but I know I’ll never truly feel that kind of pain. I’m very grateful for that.
We cut to San and get a cultural perspective. He says that the word “youth” in Korean uses the characters for “blue” and “spring,” and among all four seasons, blue spring is the freshest. I look up “blue spring,” and it’s actually a term describing the time of adolescence. I love the sound of that.
For the work-oriented Hongjoong, youth is about working hard, and he felt most connected to his youth during COVID when the band had to work extra hard to stay connected to the fans through virtual concerts and video meet and greets. He feels it now as they’re preparing for their comeback.
Everyone’s phone beeps again with another question. I’m still recovering from the first one.
The next line is from “Empty Box.” I love this song. The lyric is “I can’t even brush off the dust that’s piled up.” The question is, “When was the last time you cleaned off the dust?”
This question is from Yunho. He’s trying to lighten the mood by asking everyone when they last cleaned. I look around my apartment and try to remember where I keep my vacuum cleaner. I think I have an actual vacuum cleaner, but I usually do that spot-cleaning thing with the handheld dustbuster on my bookshelf. Does that count?
Seonghwa says he cleaned his bathroom the night before. San cleaned his room and did his laundry the day before. Yeosang did his laundry this morning. (How early does he get up?)
“Does it only count if I clean it myself?” Mingi demands. “Even if a robot vacuum does it, it’s still cleaning!” Amen, Mingi.
Another text message. We’re done with the questions. Now it’s time to actually start the dates. We’re starting with Wooyoung and Hongjoong. They enter the address of the date on Hongjoong’s phone, and it’s only 550 meters away from them. In the middle of a nearby river. “I didn’t know rivers could have address markers!” Hongjoong says, a bit worriedly.
Off they go to the Han River. Wooyoung is the one who actually planned this activity, but he’s staying tight-lipped for now. “You haven’t eaten yet, right?” he asks his date.
They meet boat-racing athlete Shim Sang-cheol, of the Korea Sports Promotion Foundation. Our boys are going out on the water! They change clothes, strap on life vests, and hop into a motor boat.
This next part is exhilarating. The boat is going so fast, the camera operator can barely keep the camera steady. This looks like so much fun. “The driver seems to prefer a very dynamic driving style,” Hongjoong tells us diplomatically in a confessional.
They return to the dock breathless and ready for more. Next up, jet skiing! But not just yet. Time to switch gears and see how Yunho and Mingi are doing on their date.
They’re still sitting at their table in the park, and it’s started to rain. They grab umbrellas and take a walk through the forest. They take pictures of each other posing on the trail. When Mingi takes the camera, his bandmates in the studio laugh because the last time he took pictures of them, his fingers were covering the lens.
We cut to San and Seonghwa back at the pavilion, enjoying the peace and quiet. But Seonghwa has a date planned. It’s a special dinner at a nearby restaurant. They will be dining on Korean beef, Omakase-style, a very expensive meal. Omakase course dinners are specialized for the individual customer and use premium ingredients. Seonghwa knows how to treat a date.
His bandmates in the studio accuse him of showing off. “My date and I just made ramyeon!” Jongho protests.
While they wait for their food, Seonghwa teases San about the fact that he often prefers to dine alone. Now I’m the defensive one. Leave San alone. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying solitude. But Seonghwa says he finds that hilarious.
It’s a hard life for us introverts. No one gets us.
The dishes arrive for our dating couple, and they look intriguing. I notice that Seonghwa is using chopsticks, while San is using a fork.
I’m a picky eater, so I don’t think I’d enjoy this, but I do find this style of dining fascinating. I highly recommend watching the Japanese drama Fermat’s Cuisine. In the US, it’s available on Netflix.
Now we cut to Yeosang and Jongho. Yeosang has arranged this date, so off they go to a pottery class. We get a confessional with Yeosang, who tells us what he usually does on a day off. He wakes up after noon, spends an hour in bed preparing himself for the day, takes a shower and orders food, and then wonders what to do for another hour while watching YouTube. He checks on his bandmates, and the day is pretty much gone after that. Honestly, that sounds like a great day off.
I should also mention here that back in the studio, San has spent this entire segment complaining about the fact that he’s not the one on a pottery date with Yeosang. As we watch Jongho tying Yeosang’s apron, San wistfully says, “I should have been the one doing that. I can tie aprons well.” He’s saying this in front of Seonghwa, who just took him out for a meal that probably cost more than my car.
What’s even funnier is that the others rub salt in the wound by talking about how much fun Yeosang is having. “Yeosang is doing so well, isn’t he?” marvels Wooyoung. I am loving every second of this. I swear, next time Seonghwa takes San to dinner, it will be the drive-thru at McDonald’s.
Yeosang, pictured here having the time of his life without San
Turns out pottery is harder than it looks. Jongho is doing well, but Yeosang’s creation keeps coming apart on the wheel. The teacher winds up giving Yeosang a whole new brick of clay. I don’t know how he managed to destroy a clay brick so badly he had to get a whole new one, but here we are. In a confessional, Jongho tells us, “I felt bad for the instructor at that moment.”
I am DYING. I just know San is watching this and thinking that Yeosang wouldn’t be having so much trouble if he’d been his date instead.
“I’m sorry, Miss,” Yeosang tells the instructor. “I bet we’re making things hard for you.”
“It’s not WE, it’s YOU,” Jongho retorts. Are maknaes allowed to talk to their elders like this? Jongho gets his comeuppance when he starts making mistakes and has to start over on his project as well. I don’t see a Best Date prize in their future, but in the end, they both manage to make decent-looking cups.
We have a few minutes left in this episode, and we need to end on a high note, so it’s back to our jet-skiing Wooyoung and Hongjoong. They start by riding on the back of the jet-skis while the instructors drive. After a successful few laps around the river, and Hongjoong losing his hat, our boys take over. This is so much fun to watch.
In the studio, the bandmates marvel at how well their workaholic captain is steering his way across the water, looking totally carefree for once in his life. “I don’t usually get to freely feel such a thrill in life,” he tells them. (Fun Fact: The Han River connects to the ocean. If Hongjoong finds that stretch that takes him to the West Sea, he may never come back.)
Wooyoung snatches his captain’s lost hat out of the water, making sure to look as cool and heroic as possible, which is a great ending to this episode.
I am really into this show. I love that there are no missions, just adventures. I can’t wait to see what adventures they have planned next.
In the meantime, I know that Wooyoung and Hongjoong are probably in the lead for the best date prize, what with the exciting high-speed water sports. But I’m still pulling for Mingi and Yunho. No amount of jet-skiing can beat the thrill of the one spoken word: “You.”
See you next week, ATINY.
