A Better Life

u ever think about how ur skeleton is always wet

I wish I never had but thanks for ruining my life

don ’ t worry ! there will come a time when it ’ s not :)

Thanks! Even worse :)

i cant wait to love the fuck out of somebody and not look stupid

You wake up when you die in a dream because it is the only thing in existence your brain does not know how to simulate.

But what about when we die in our sleep?

Your 12 recent emojis are how each month of the next year will be for you

😂❤️😘😍🤦🏻‍♂️💜☺️😜👍🏻😭🤤👌🏼

Putting a loved one’s photo on your phone background is the modern equivalent of carrying it in a locket.

the absolute mad man he just keeps GOING

*heavy breathing intensifies*

your heart is a muscle the size of a rat

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

Your brain’s about four times the size of a cat’s

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

Your lungs can hold 5.5 liters of air

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

The soles of your feet can never grow hair

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

SPONGEBOB…

SQUAREPAAAAAAAANTS

*~deedlee-doot-dee-doot doo-oot~*

Quitting smoking is like planting a tree, best time to do so was 20 years ago, second best time is today