eclectic dumbfuck

i had a twisted dream this morning when my alarm tried to wake me up where jeff goldblum said 'Actually if you sleep a bit Longer you'll have More time to get ready It's called the Goldblum's Law and it works just go back to sleep' and i believed him and i overslept

hey boss sorry im late. i got Goldblumed

[Image ID: Tumblr tags reading: warThymeSinger reading: had a similar scenario where my alarm woke me up at the crack of dawn, and then i "remembered" ththe government, had just made early mornings illegal because theyre inhumane, so went back to sleep and missed my morning class /End ID]

at the start of every month everyone reblogs some insane poetry that’s like “august has arrived and again I swallow my bones in the burning sun” and every time I’m like damn that makes no sense. but kind of true.

omg guys happy bone swallowing august

"having sex with your friends is basically incest" is a take of all time

Reblog if you have incestuous desires about your friends

I maintain that the best summation of my feminist beliefs are that men and women are not fundamentally different. There are a few quantifiable differences if you average out every woman and every man, but they are not qualitative. And most of them are socially constructed, and would be fixed if we started treating men and women the same. Neither is inherently smarter, neither is inherently kinder, neither is inherently more stoic or stronger or angrier or softer. Everyone is obsessed with the differences between women and men, with finding them and creating them and distancing themselves from the "other half". It's fucked up

sorry but if your bed isn’t against at least one wall you’re not valid

A single person’s bed is generally against 2 walls, a couple’s bed is generally against 1 wall, and people with 0 walls have no fear of the dark/unseen with direct access to their head, and therefore cannot be human.

ok the bed just out in the middle of the room is bad but have you considered: only the footboard end against a wall

no i hadn’t. why would you put that image into my head?

I’m at a loss for words

STay out of my study unless you intend to have sex with me

say what u want about the manscaped ads I know they are shit, all of them but the “evil, sinister, malcontent, balls” one puts me into fucking hysterics actually

every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway

I've made this post like six times but it still fucks me up the China's mountains just look like that. Like I spent decades thinking it was stylistic but no, they just have different mountains over there.

What the FUCK

I’m specifically reblogging this here because I know there is a geological reason for this and I know at least one of you has to know it.

i think we should start openly mocking male creatives who can't figure out how to write women. like actually i think it's embarrassing that it took elliot page transitioning for christopher nolan to give him a good role. why did it take like ten years to get the first female lead in a marvel movie? why is it a Known Fact that stephen king can't write women? why is 50% of the population omitted from large ensemble works? i asked my friend to name a movie directed by a man with a majority female cast and he said ghostbusters 2016. ghostbusters. ghostbusters. g