hm

I love a good texting fic!

Honestly, that is probably why I took so long with this because I either have shared many of the fics I already like or I use them for different asks. Since these are all under 5k words, I kept the commentary on these pretty short. There is only so much I can share without spoiling it, and I hope you enjoy all of these!

These all contain spoilers for the book The Long Game

8 Texts from Ilya ❤️ by fffpppp

Teen and Up Audiences - Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov - Completed

Shane Hollander-Rozanov ✅ @shanehollander 8:56 a.m. [Paris] 🙂 I have been asked many times what it’s like being married to Ilya Rozanov. I’ll give you all a snippet of the texts he sends me. OR Shane's flight from Paris is delayed, and he's hungry, tired, and missing his husband. He decides to give the world an idea of what it's like to be married to the #1 chaos gremlin of the league through Ilya's no-context texts.

In my opinion, this is more of a social media ask, but I think it fits this ask really well.

in case of emergency, please call by whorecoded

General Audiences - Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov - Completed

Bood: I still think it smells fishy Barrett: What could he possibly be covering up that he needs to put Hollander’s mom as his emergency contact for Bood: Idk Bood: Maybe a secret child or something Dillon: How would that work Bood: Or maybe he IS the secret child Barrett: What.

Unlike the other fics on this list, this one does not directly involve either Shane or Ilya. I really enjoyed having a different perspective on these types of fics.

This author posts social media au posts on tumblr @hrsocials so go support them!

party planning by some1_around

Teen and Up Audiences - Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov - Completed

Zane Boodram tries to plan his next barbecue. Ilya Rozanov refuses to let anyone know peace. Shane suffers in silence (mostly). A Centaurs texting fic.

This one is very short, but the coding in it is very cool.

Ilya added Shane to "Cens" by SuddenlyLaury

Teen and Up Audiences - Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Bood wake up new @Boodram_32 insta post just dropped Luca i saw it. smash next question Hayes DAMN LUCA Luca i’m so sorry that was out of line forget I ever said that like actually Bood hey guys remember when Luca thought “smash next question” was the worst thing this chat has ever seen

This is a cute snapshot into their lives.

crash out by UglyGreenJacket

Teen and Up Audiences - Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov - Completed

Shane: All this hiding, and we can’t even be together when it really matters? Shane: Fuck that. Fuck all of it. I’m coming to Florida. Shane: I choose you. Always. Ilya: I love you. Shane: I love you, too. Shane: Are you going to tell me not to come? Ilya: Fuck no. Ilya: I need you here. Please hurry. Shane: I’ll tell the pilot to fly faster ❤️ I’m paying him enough. Shane: Don’t drink too much, because we’re going to have a lot of really emotional sex when I get there, and I can’t have your dick going limp on me. Ilya: He would NEVER. Shane: ❤️ __________ Troy: Holy shit. Troy: HOLY SHIT. Troy: Shane Hollander is naked in your bed. Troy: Shane Hollander is NAKED in your bed.

This fic is mostly from the pov of Troy. After this one, I realized I really need to read more fics with a Troy pov because this was such a fun fic. This fic features Shane and Ilya coming out to the Centaurs, and I really like how it was done.

This author is on tumblr @uglygreenjacket so go support them!

Happy Birthday, Ilya by UglyGreenJacket

Teen and Up Audiences - Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov - Completed

Hazy: Happy birthday, Roz! Bood: Happy birthday, Cap! Barrett: Happy birthday!! Dykstra: It’s your birthday! Haas: Happy birthday, Captain! You are the most wonderful hockey player and leader, and I hope today is your best birthday yet ❤️ Ilya: Well, it’s not, so your wishes mean nothing. Bood: Okay. Well. Bood: Looks like we are feeling a bit dramatic today. Hazy: Do you want to expand, or how can we best support you? Ilya: I will expand even though it is incredibly painful to do so. Barrett: Oh, goody. Ilya: My husband. Ilya: Shane Hollander. Ilya: The supposed love of my life. Ilya: The holder of my heart and half of my assets. Ilya: The future father of my children and feeder of my dog. Ilya: Forgot my birthday.

I was just about to post this, but I saw this come across my dashboard, and I knew I had to add it to this. I loved this fic, and I am grateful that I kinda procrastinated this post.

explicit | hollanov | 23k | vamp au

He hated that Ilya had him suspended in that in-between place, hated the way the question went straight under his skin and made his own thoughts start to stutter. What are you?  Not human, but not whatever his mother had spent his whole life preparing him to be, either.

Shane Hollander has been a vampire for six weeks and is still trying to figure out what he wants from the dark. Ilya Rozanov has been dead for two centuries and feels more than qualified to answer the question for him. All Shane has to do is stop running.

☆ Being perceived by the (evil) media

I'm 47 and AFRAID of ilya rozanov by persimmon_tea

Ilya Rozanov and Troy Barrett are photographed leaving Scott Hunter's gay bar. Social media decides this must mean... they're homophobic?

(The internet is stupid, who would have seen that coming ? Special shout out to part two because I laughed out loud way too much)

Freedom4Lily by HollowIsTheWorld

Teen / 2K / One-shot

BREAKING NEWS: MHL star Shane Hollander photographed on his phone while out with his team in Las Vegas after a win, and the texts that can be seen suggest Montreal's 'Golden Boy' of hockey may not be the catch he's always appeared to be... [read more]

("Lily"s text getting leaked - amazing concept)

☆ Shane 🤝 an autism diagnosis (thank god)

he turns off the big light by gurlsrool

Mature / 9K / One-shot

Or: Ilya Rozanov has a lot of good ideas. Telling his fuck buddy that he should consider getting an autism diagnosis isn't one of them.

(Shane being cared of ??? Absolutely give me twenty of that)

you're standing in my light by kyperbees

Teen / 4K / One-shot

or: shane hollander gets an autism diagnosis at age thirty-two. it changes nothing, and also everything.

(Really good exploration of Shane's feelings post diagnosis)

☆ Non-hockey AUs

Pour Decisions by hermacology

Teen / 7K / One-shot

Hayden Pike and his group chat of coworkers are pretty sure their new manager Shane has a parasocial obsession with a professional hockey player.

He talks about him constantly, knows everything about him, watches every game, and even has candid photos of him that are definitely not available through conventional sources. So naturally, they decide to intervene to find him a man who actually knows he exists.

Shane, for his part, has no idea what they're talking about.

(Really fucking funny - has a little bit of hockey)

careful fear and dead devotion by CorvidCordelia

Explicit / 44K / Completed

Or, Shane and Ilya are cast in a production of Ember & Ice and eventually they fuck about it.

(Love this, really interested premise without being RPF)

Dr. Hollander's Mysterious Husband by Carnival Mira

Explicit/ 6K / One-shot

Shane loses his wedding band and the neurology department discovers Dr Shane Hollander has a husband... who works in the hospital's ER. Now they're determined to uncover the identity of his mysterious husband.

(Really fun - reminded me of The Pitt)

☆ Fics about Shane signing (yes it's a genre)

The Rooms Left Unopened (The Man I Need) by Snakeswithsocks

Mature / 32K / Completed

or; Shane Hollander's music choices and Ilya's discovery of Shane's autism and their shared experiences post-cannon.

(Absolutely lovely)

Trending: J.A.N.E.I.F.Y.'s New Song Just Dropped And We're All Asking - Who is J.A.N.E.I.F.Y.? by sleepixgstars

Teen / 13K / Completed

AKA the one where Shane and Ilya are married and in love and Shane is a little insecure about his ability to love his husband. So he becomes a faceless pop sensation. By accident. Mostly? It's complicated.

Oh this sounds interesting. I haven't read much Soulmate AUs so I am not familiar with them. Although, I might need to check them out. But, here is what I did find.

Soulmate [n] : Dated Term for Connected Person Series

Shane and Ilya are soulmates. A lot of it is sweet, and some of it is hard.

Where I Does Not Exist, Nor You 

Chronic soulmate transference syndrome (C-STS) is diagnosed when one or both bondmates report experiencing regular impacting transference (i.e. preventing an individual from completing everyday tasks like work or maintaing personal hygiene) for 1) more than 3 hours at a time 2) more than 3 times a week 4) over 3 or more months.

Rated: E

7,300 words

A (late) Hollanov fic for MerMay! Featuring Ilya as a Merman and Shane being super into it.

Summary:

Shane takes a moment to enjoy the freckled expanse, rippling with muscle. He unclasps the hook of the necklace and reaches his arms over Ilya’s head, draping the pearls across his collarbones, overtop of his normal gold chain. Ilya sucks in a breath when the cold stones touch his skin.

Shane clips the two ends together, letting it rest naturally across Ilya’s neck, and then—

“AH fuck! ….Ow”

Shane suddenly finds himself on the ground, legs swept out from under him by something large and heavy. The breath’s been knocked out of him and it takes a second to find it again, but he’s more worried about what could have sent Ilya to the ground so quickly like that. Did he pass out? Is he sick? Did Anya come in? He hears a groan from somewhere nearby and turns his head in that direction.

“…Ilya? Oh my god.”

____________

OR, Shane finds a gift for Ilya at an old antique shop, and it turns into a night they'll never forget.

i have a file or folder on my pc that i want to share with other people. let's call it gayshit.mp3

unfortunately gayshit.mp3 is 750mb and im not paying for discord nitro so i need another way to send it

i put it into qbittorrent and it makes a torrent file. this is essentially a very small file that points to gayshit.mp3 so other computers can find it. kinda like a treasure map

i send this tiny file to my friend, who loads it into qbittorrent. their computer takes a moment to find mine over the vast expanse of cyberspace and then (as long as my pc is running and the file is still where it should be), it gets copied from my hard drive to theirs

this is the cool part: if somebody else loads that tiny file, they can download it from both of us. if i'm offline but my friend is on, the third person can still get it. this also means that if two people have separate halves of the file, they can download the other half from each other. as long as some combination of people have the pieces between them, they can all have the whole thing.

crucially this does not require a server!!! you can just upload the file to a few people and as long as they keep it, it's still accessible. as long as somebody, somewhere is still connected, it's available forever. the only way it goes away is if everybody disconnects from it.

and in the morning (i'll be with you) by Apple51234 Rated T, 3,541 words

“Hey Siri, call Lily.” After a pause, “Hey Siri, put it on speaker,” was the next slurred command to come from the concussed hockey star.

All Andrea could do was watch in a state of both fascination and horror as the call was picked up after two rings.

“Shane? Are you okay?”

“Ilyyaaa! It’s your voice! How did they do that?” Shane looked at the device in awe.

Ilya’s confusion and genuine concern was audible. “What? Shane, what do you mean?”

“Ah!” Shane exclaimed, giggling into his hands. “Hi!” He looked up, then in a stage whisper, he said, “my nurse is still here. So be quiiiiiiiet.”

_____

Or, Shane gets ahold of his phone and calls Ilya while under the influence of his pain meds. And of course, he calls Ilya.

it's all fun and games until someone has been secretly gay this whole time by thegreenempty Rated M, 6,452 words

Hayden had never seen him like this before. The painkillers were making Shane…fun. He was funny, and kind of bitchy? All Hayden had to do was mention a player, any player in the league, and Shane had an absolutely devastating assessment locked and loaded. To hear Canada’s Golden Boy with perfect PR presence rip into everyone and everything…it was just too tempting to pass up.

OR

Hayden has some fun with Shane while he's high on pain meds. Shane starts being a little too honest and that's exactly when Ilya Rozanov decides to show some sportsmanship for the first time in his life. Hayden tries to run interference for his best friend and, man, what the hell did he walk into??

Of all the Ships that Sail the Sea by forestgreen Rated M, 38,975 words (WIP)

"Holy shit!" Vic gasps, gaping at Ilya. "Holy shit," he repeats more slowly as realization dawns on him. "Shane Fucking Hollander is your Montreal girl?"

OR: Ilya's teammates go with him to visit Hollander at the hospital and a high-on-painkillers Shane can't keep his mouth shut. Ilya learns that when it comes down to it, ice is thicker than blood.

Two-Four-Eight-One-Oh-Eight (Ilya Hollander. Shane Rozanov.) by callmeautumn Rated G, 4,864 words

“Maybe—maybe Lily is sleeping,” she says. Bargaining, she realizes numbly. She’s bargaining for more time. And for whatever is unfolding here to stop unfolding and in fact fold itself back up. Her thumb shifts away from the call button. “And you should be sleeping too, mister.”

“He’s not sleeping.” Shane flares his nostrils—another gesture Yuna hasn’t seen in so many years. “He’s waiting for me to call a third time. Mom. Please. He’s—he’ll be so worried.”

Yuna shifts her thumb and lets it drop. Is Yuna a bad mother if she hopes "Lily" doesn’t pick up?

-x-

or: Shane needs to call someone the night he's laid out by Marlow, and Yuna reflects on her quietly, obsessively devoted son.

where nobody knows you by dottiedoesotherfandoms (dottie_wan_kenobi) Rated T, 31,720 words

After a moment, Hayden pulls back. Then he hands her the phone—Shane’s phone.

“I grabbed this when I was getting his stuff and I saw, well.”

He looks away from Yuna, briefly glances at David, then looks away from him too. There’s an oddly guilty look on his face that has Yuna suspicious at once.

“Um, has Shane told you guys about Lily?”

--

gavia immer

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Pre-TLG, 2.4k, 1/1 chapters, rated M

Loons were migratory birds. Ilya learned that while looking them up once, during his last season in Boston. It was the middle of February; he hasn’t seen Shane in weeks and missed him so much, a hole had made itself a nest in his chest.

laws of motion by nomsy Rated E, 10,305 words

Lily Send me your schedule I will go to things

Jane But act like me

Lily Yes yes I will be so boring, you cannot imagine

Jane Fuck off What the fuck is going on here How did this happen?

Lily I don’t know! I do not want your boring life, Hollander

---

Ilya and Shane wake up in each other's bodies a week before the All-Star Game.

freakiest of fridays: the universe v. Hayden Pike by Wretchedheart Rated T, 7,461 words

Once they are back and settled in their hotel room, Shane on his phone, texting, it suddenly occurs to Hayden that they are in Boston, and what that means. “You can not fuck Lily in my body, bro.” Shane turns to him slowly, entirely unimpressed before his eyes glaze for a second and he snorts. “I’m serious, you can’t. It may not be me in there, but that body–” he gestures to Shane, to his own body “–it’s married, okay?” Shane keeps blinking at him. It’s funny how despite it being his own face, Shane’s deadpan expression shines through. “How the fuck would I explain this?”

The body swap au nobody asked for with a twist.

What happens when Shane and Hayden swap bodies while in Boston?

Why does Rozanov seem to sense something is off immediately?—Why is Pike so comfortable maneuvering his way through Ilya's house?—Why the fuck is this happening to Shane?

my grass is greener than yours by Kach_wow Rated T, 32,902 words (WIP)

“So. That’s it? Those are the rules?” Hayden asked. “Don’t go through your texts or photos, keep up with your workouts and diet, and listen to everything Yuna says, without question.”

Shane seemed to be thinking about it, pausing a second. All of a sudden, he looked up at Hayden, again with that intense anxiety face.

“And most importantly, do not talk to Ilya Rozanov. Ever. No matter what.” Shane said, “Avoid him. Don’t even look at him. OK?”

Hayden nodded, and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Like he even needed to be told that. Besides, Shane had been avoiding Ilya Rozanov for his entire career. How hard could it be?

loving this body by beetlesandstars, kryptonian Rated E, 22,370 words

Ilya picks up on the third ring, breathing heavily into the phone. Shane hears a door slam shut through the device. “Do not yell at me.”  Shane stares at the half-empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. “You suck.” “I suck? I scored hat-trick! In your stupid body! I have not eaten in six hours, Hollander. I have not pissed. I have not laid down. I want to go home.”  “Rozanov–”  “Your mother has called twenty times. Your manager has called thirty times. Your father text me picture of crossword puzzle and ask for help. Clue is about American President from the 1980s. I cannot help!”

no but you can FORCE it away. use ublock origin and copy paste the blacklist i made into the filters to be able to remove the bullshit AI overview that google forces. it also removes youtube's forced ads (at least until they fix it)

you can also use the ublacklist extension and use this blacklist of AI image generation websites to curate your google image results

i want you flowing through my veins explicit, 3k, oneshot. they talk about kinks. shane asks ilya to spit in his mouth. it's almost sweet, and also hot.

lucky bastard mature, 10k, complete. part of a series (second one is also complete). they're very possessive of each other, even when they don't know if they should be. biting, tender feelings. also, spit kink. i have a theme.

serious teen, 1k, oneshot. svetlana walks into shane and ilya sharing a morning the day of the tuna melt.

the interview teen, 11k, ongoing. ilya rozanov does an interview in his native russian, translated. a very interesting look into what the rest of the world thinks of ilya, with some very cold commentary from ilya's part

for better or for rozanov mature, 3k, oneshot. a gossip magazine publishes a piece on shane hollander's possible (definitely real) secret marriage. ilya loses his mind.

offside explicit, 29k, ongoing. ilya's off hockey from a career-ending injury, coaching canada's team for the olympics. shane has grown up idolizing the man- but it's different training under him. he's too demanding, too strict, too much. but that's not always a bad thing. coach/player romance au

bite hard explicit, 9k, oneshot (part of a series, also has another complete fic. read both.) THE biting kink fic. ilya gets a tooth knocked out, and if you think they wouldn't be horny about that you're extremely wrong. this fic makes your jaw ache in sympathy.

it's too close for comfort teen, 7k, oneshot. anti-doping does their job, which includes showing up for ilya at shane's house.

road regrets explicit, 9k, oneshot. shane watches ilya's game, gets worked up watching him get slammed on the boards, and doms him through his phone about it.

now you're home mature, 4k, oneshot. ilya offers to pay shane for sex sometimes. surprisingly, it's both set in canon and also pretty emotionally sweet.

clear to a hedgehog explicit, 12k, oneshot. genuinely the only non-hockey player shane i've liked. ilya's regular montreal hookup is a doctor who definitely thinks he's in the bratva.

rescue kip 2017 teen, 500 words, oneshot. text fic. hollanov attempt to rescue kip from his dinosaur boyfriend. they are not very successful, but they tried.

im going to walk into the ocean, never to be seen again gen, 4k, oneshot. hollanov have svetlana over for lunch. shane invites rose for moral support. everyone is being very chill and normal about this, really.

all these little deaths explicit, 5k, incomplete. sadist ilya and masochist shane have a very fun and normal time with hockey injuries.

the (fake) fake marriage teen, 1k, oneshot. everyone knows ilya rozanov is just marrying hollander for the visa. the immigration office, respectfully, disagrees.

aching, aching, aching and alive explicit, 17k, oneshot. have you thought about fisting as a possible medium for character and emotional exploration? no? well, here you go. THE fisting fic.

berlin pond explicit, 6k, incomplete. somnophilia fic, and also feelings, and also texting that made me laugh a little too much.

every path was an improvisation gen, 2k, oneshot. the plane actually crashes, but they're okay. well, on a deserted island, but okay. the centaurs are mostly arguing about lord of the flies. ilya's worrying about the high odds that shane will just murder him when they get back.

shane hollander's notes app mature, 700 words, oneshot. goes through canon. some of the cons for rozanov include 'somewhat attractive'. terrific. i get him.

tell it slant teen, 7k, oneshot. ilya makes an anonymous online friend in his rookie era. it's probably not who you think.

me and my wild boy, and all of this wild joy unrated, 4k, oneshot. someone films hollanov having sex and posts it online. they get through it. it's hornier than you'd think.

edit: part three of this list because ao3 was down so i opened 50 tabs of fic to read in the meantime.