stuff I like

I saw this poem on tumblr years ago and when my niece Rowan was about to be born I knew this was the perfect poem to illustrate for her room.

Click for better quality. Please don't repost.

Poem for a New Year

By Matt Goodfellow

I tried to have these fics be a majority texting, but some exposition and social media may be in these as well.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

In Good Company by FlameHazel18 Rated T, 3,766 words

TROY: Is there such a thing as a player walk out? Like what if we just refused to play our game on Monday?

Or: The first few days after Shane and Ilya are outed, as told by group chats and social media

wishing you the best (in the worst way) by gurlsrool Not Rated, 12,151 words

Shane: I’ve never wanted to share it since our timeline is so…complicated Hayden: Is it? You were fucking, then you dated, then you got married. Normal progression! Shane: I don’t think the “fucking” part of that equation is usually 7 years

In which the Voyageurs’ secret homophobic group chat leaks, Shane decides it might be time to tell the world how long he’s been seeing Ilya, and said world loses their shit.

I Like Jane For You by icopythefax Rated M, 17,661 words (first in a series)

After a mix-up leaves Hayden with the wrong phone for three days, he ends up learning more about Ilya Rozanov and his secret girlfriend, Jane.

Another Hayden-Finds-Out, because we can't have too many.

*now with the extra continuing Hayden-Rozanov friendship text threads*

jackie & lily world domination by goldengalaxies Not Rated, 3,547 words

Jackie No offence but this is not what I expected from Shane’s girlfriend.

Lily (Shane) I know he is so boring and I am so fun

Lily (Shane) But opposites attract is the saying, no?

Lily (Shane) Also I am not girlfriend

Jackie Why not!!

Jackie Sorry that was nosy

Lily (Shane) Is okay

Lily (Shane) Is complicated

Lily (Shane) But I cannot let him go because he gives head like champion

Jackie Girl!!!!!!

(spreading the jackie & ilya bestie gospel!)

two steps on the water by Anonymous Rated M, 25,321 words

Selected text messages from the phones of Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander, circa 2020-2021.

  Troy Barrett: I’m planning to drive up to Toronto to finish packing up my apartment on Saturday, and I was wondering if you’d want to grab dinner after your game while we’re both in town? - Jane: …did you tell Barrett about us? Lily: no i promise Lily: he maybe thinks it is possible, but i did not tell Jane: I don’t think he has any idea Lily: what makes you say this Jane: Just a hunch

I tried to have these fics be a majority texting, but some exposition and social media may be in these as well.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

it started with a whisper by gurlsrool Rated T, 5,834 words (first part of a series)

Scott: I’ve been getting asked if it’s me. I considered denying but if we all deny and one person doesn’t, that sort of gives their identity away and I’m not sure they want that. Ilya: Everyone thinks is me. My agent asked if I want to comment too Scott: Wait, it's not you? Ilya: Maybe 🤔 Or maybe not 🤪 Eric: What?

Or: When Adrian Dela Cruz reveals he dated an NHL player, chaos and damage control ensue. A story told through texts, tweets, and one pretentious Variety article.

jj boiziau: ultimate ally (unfortunately) by goldengalaxies Not Rated, 2,131 words

JJ ok why don't you tell me what your type is since the last four men were no good

Mon Capitane🫡 I'm just not interested in dating right now!

JJ right but no one said you had to date these guys. just some fun with them😏😏

—

Cens groupchat

Roz i need someone to take out Boiziau in next game no questions asked

(jj tries to matchmake for shane after finding out he’s gay. things unfold. ilya crashes out. jj finds out a little more)

mixed messages by UglyGreenJacket Rated T, 4,754 words

Hayden: Babe. Hayden:...do you think Shane could be gay?

Jackie: Definitely.

Hayden: Wait, seriously?

Jackie: Yeah, I’ve suspected for years. Jackie: But why do you think so all of a sudden?

Hayden: Okay, we have to come back to that but. Hayden: I got a message from him that I don’t think was meant for me…

Jackie: What did it say?

Hayden: You’re going to make me type it out?

Jackie: Hayden, you’re thirty years old. Type out the message. It can’t be that bad.

Hayden: Something about missing a cock desperately.

the pda police by goldengalaxies Not Rated, 3,550 words

Roz We are good looking and married and in love, is normal to be sexually active

Hazy I’m sorry but no. There’s sexually active and there’s YOU TWO

Shane @Hazy I’m confused. We only have sex everyday?

Shane That’s not that much, is it?

Dykstra I can’t tell if you’re joking or not????

Shane How often is normal?

Roz Shut up

Roz Everyone is banned from speaking

Roz No more talking

(overly touchy hollanov get an intervention)

MLH's Queer Conspiracy by totearup Rated G, 9,567 words

Welcome to the secure chat room. Chatting with 10 users. You are user AU08

Rozanov: I want to coordinate a mass coming out for a bunch of MLH players. If we all come out at once, no one has to be first.

I tried to have these fics be a majority texting, but some exposition and social media may be in these as well.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

crash out by UglyGreenJacket Rated T, 3,917

Shane: All this hiding, and we can’t even be together when it really matters? Shane: Fuck that. Fuck all of it. I’m coming to Florida. Shane: I choose you. Always.

Ilya: I love you.

Shane: I love you, too. Shane: Are you going to tell me not to come?

Ilya: Fuck no. Ilya: I need you here. Please hurry.

Shane: I’ll tell the pilot to fly faster ❤️ I’m paying him enough. Shane: Don’t drink too much, because we’re going to have a lot of really emotional sex when I get there, and I can’t have your dick going limp on me.

Ilya: He would NEVER.

Shane: ❤️

__________

Troy: Holy shit. Troy: HOLY SHIT. Troy: Shane Hollander is naked in your bed. Troy: Shane Hollander is NAKED in your bed.

They Mean Well, I Swear by Nimming Rated M, 12,802 words

Ilya and Shane agreed to come out to their teams separately. The Bears take it well and promise to have Ilya's back, but they have questions.

aka a bunch of well meaning straight (?) guys asking about how things work

who the f*ck is jane by goldengalaxies Not Rated, 2,961 words

Caitlin ok this IS earth shattering news

Caitlin the concept of the worst team in the league getting ilya rozanov because some random girl managed to lock down “russia’s greatest love machine” and have him so whipped that he moves to OTTAWA??

Caitlin like who the fuck is this girl?????

Cassie Literally all I know is that her name is Jane

Caitlin who the fuck are you jane!!!!!!

(the ottawa wag chat finds out about jane. cue them finding out little bits of jane lore until some things add up)

all things change, we stay the same by UglyGreenJacket Rated M, 4,433

Ilya: I do not know how I’ll survive until I see you again.

Shane: So dramatic.

Ilya: It is only two months, I guess. Ilya: Not that long.

Shane: It’s fucking forever.

Ilya: Now who’s being dramatic?

Shane: I’ve spent too much time around you at the cottage ❤️ Shane: We’ll talk all the time though, right?

Ilya: Every day.

Shane: And we’ll have phone sex still?

Ilya: As if you could survive without it.

Shane: As if you could. Ilya: I love you, Shane Hollander.

Shane: I love you too, Ilya Rozanov. Shane: Call me when you land?

Ilya: Only an immigration officer could stop me.

Part of the Family by FlameHazel18 Rated T, 6,112 words

Ottawa Centaurs ✅ @OttawaCentaurs Competitors on the ice, but we're good at burying the hatchet. Thanks to the @NYAdmirals and @KingfisherNYC for hosting us tonight! audrey @mrslucahaas Do I spy with my little eye Shane Hollander in the background of that third pic? sj ❦ @shaydenstan Shane Hollander leaning over a pool table I am looking very disrespectfully 👀 Ilya Rozanov ✅ @rozanov81 No you are not. Internet is cancelled. Harris take this down.

Ilya Rozanov is Now Live by Itsallfine Rated T, 2,690 words

Post-cottage, Shane and Ilya quickly discover that hiding sucks, so they launch their friendship via a series of chaotic Instagram Lives. It predictably spirals out of control.

Ch 1: Friends! Ch 2: …Uh, friends? Ch 3: Definitely not friends.

Yuna Hollander's 10 Step Guide to Soft Launching a Bromance by allyasavedtheday Rated T, 10,668 words

“It sure made for a hell of a show,” the same journalist agrees before waggling his eyebrows. “So does this mean we’re putting the rivalry to bed?”

Ilya laughs before Shane can say anything, slinging a casual arm over Shane’s shoulder. Shane has no idea how he can be so nonchalant about it all but Ilya’s always been better at this kind of stuff. He’s loud and brash and confident and it usually means the press doesn’t pick up on the stuff he’s not saying.

“Ah we will always like beating each other I think,” he says. “But this weekend, we are friends. Right, Hollander?”

He jostles Shane’s shoulder as if to emphasise his point and Shane manages to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth long enough to answer. He makes a show of rolling his eyes before allowing a grin that’s probably a little too real to settle on his face. “It’s harder to hate him when he’s helping me win.”

---

Yuna Hollander's foolproof guide to turning a rivalry into a bromance before the announcement of the Irina Foundation

What’s Wrong With Them (Affectionate) by Ef02 Rated T, 8,272 words

NHL Enthusiast @hockey4life This is officially the weirdest day in All Of Hockey

Ily-a @ilyahoezenov So we’re agreed that they’re not actually getting married right. Like something else is going on

Hayden Pike’s 5th Child @heydenpike Well obviously Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov aren’t actually getting married, they’ve obviously been fucking with us all day

Or:

What if Shane and Ilya decide to explode the internet by letting their friends post about their wedding, before anyone knows they're together. A chaotic way to come out if they could do it on their own terms.

In Their Own Words by P1n3appl3_p3n Rated T, 13,957 words

Instead of being outed by a video from Hayden Pike, what if Ilya and Shane were allowed to release their relationship the way they wanted?

If They Only Knew by FlameHazel18 Rated T, 23,754 words

Shane and Ilya just want to tell the world about their relationship, on their own terms. If only anyone would actually believe them.

Or: the closet is reinforced steel, apparently.

"I think we tried too hard," Ilya says from the opposite end of the couch, probably scrolling through the same articles as Shane. "Was easier to keep secret than we thought. I could have kissed you on center ice, and everyone would say aww, I love their…what is word again?" "Bromance?" "Yes. That."

Fanning the Flames by cjr2 Rated E, 21,185 words

The Voyageurs ask Shane to join FanMail in order to foster a better connection with fans. Internet sleuths start to notice some interesting details in the background of Shane’s videos, and then the internet does...what the internet does.