like a midnight swim

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

at planned parenthood and they're playing regular show

"dude if you don't get this abortion benson is gonna fire us"

if your animal is lying on the floor, furniture etc, it’s important to take a picture of them. then, if they move or shift in any way, it’s important to take another picture. with this technique, you can take many pictures of your animal

currently running the Sweetie Pie Challenge where i dont hit anyone with a tire iron as hard as i can for seven days

failed

Been ages since i had 18 beers almost a full week

hate that I was understanding when I should’ve just been a cunt

dick from a man who has waited lifetimes to meet me again in my reincarnated form

good god when the onions and garlic hit the olive oil..........

Panties hit the FLOOR

you know it sister

i need to come up with a way to say “i mean like, movies for grownups” that doesn’t make me feel like a villain

*peeks in the replies* *gets really nervous and locks my house up and leaves*

i literally just don’t want to watch Kung Fu Panda

middle aged lady on my bus just called someone's partner "your whimsical idiot boyfriend" over the phone . with sincere frustration might I add

all i want for 2026 is that gigantic rancid AI bubble to finally burst in such a catastrophic way that the consequences will be so good and i'll never have to see another AI generated image ever again

Like to charge, reblog to cast.