Okei

I get so Shane off that Tequilya

Ilya is so lucky that Shane proposed. Ilya would have been a nervous fucking wreck for the entire day beforehand. Wake up in the morning. Look in the mirror. Today's the day. Sob. Breathe. Okay I'm good! Turn around and Shane's hair is all in his face, still asleep on Ilya's pillow. I am NOT good. Cold shower. Breakfast that Ilya does not eat. Morning jog wherein Ilya runs like someone is chasing him. Lunch that Ilya does not eat. Drive out to the cottage. Make Shane pull over because Ilya needs to dry heave on the side of the road. "Baby we don't have to drive out today if you're not feeling well." "NO WE HAVE TO." Get to the cottage. Immediately send Shane on some kind of extended fool's errand. Shane wants to stay because Ilya is SHAKING and he is so worried. "No my love I'm fine it's just the breeze off the lake haha." It's thirty fuckig degrees Celsius. Shane finally gtfo's. Yuna, David, Rose FUCKING Landry all descend to help Ilya set up. Well. Ilya is supposed to be helping but he is standing on the deck fully dissociating. Yuna brings him tea. "Are you going to throw up the tea?" "Yes probably." Yuna takes away the tea. 800 electronic tea lights on the deck. In a parallel Ilya has no way of understanding, he both puts on and takes off a suit. Yuna fixes his curls into the hockey boy quasi-mullet that magnetizes Shane's fingers to Ilya's hair and says, "Oh, you're so handsome!" Ilya cries big fat tears. David tells a story about how his proposal to Yuna almost didn't happen because David went to the hospital for heart palpitations that morning. Thank You David That Does Not Help Even Remotely. Ilya slav squats on the lawn for twenty minutes. Shane's car pulls up in the driveway and everyone hides while Ilya vibrates in the entryway. Shane has no less than thirty grocery bags hanging from his arms, still complaining about why the grocery service cancelled their delivery last minute. Ilya leads Shane and all thirty of his grocery bags onto the deck. Shane is doing his favorite thing (bitching) and his second favorite thing (Follow Ilya) so he doesn't notice his own mother tiptoing behind him collecting the grocery bags he drops like breadcrumbs. There is an Oscar-winning actress hiding under his sofa and Shane does not notice because Ilya takes him on the deck and drops to his knees and Shane is like, "Haha, right now?" and then he sees that Ilya has a look on his face like he's just been told the sun is never coming up again and he has his hands on Shane's knees and he is saying, "Shane. Please?" and Shane puts his hands on his head and says "Oh my God baby what's happening to you" as Ilya melts and melts and then from the depths of the cottage someone who sounds a lot like Shane's very own father is whispering "The ring the ring" and when he looks back down Ilya is fumbling a ring box out of his pocket. The first picture of their proposal is Shane glaring into the middle distance with a hand cradling Ilya's curls like a baby while Ilya ugly sobs into his knee.

”is simple for me” 5.3 seconds later you’re crying in his arms

no okay i do want to talk about shane drumming his fingers on the gearshift on the way to face his parents only for ilya to cover his hand with his own, and then we see shane in the rearview, tears in his eyes, shutting his eyes briefly. and it’s like we see him recenter under ilya’s touch, be still. and i think a lot about how hudson described shane’s relationship with yuna as clinical — she loves him, yes, more than anything, but there’s a distance there; emotions are hands-off. david seems loving but removed as well. it’s likely shane never had anyone to properly sit with him in his anxiousness, in his fear, he always had to suffer it in silence. and it’s like. here comes ilya rozanov, saying, do you want me to come with you? yes it’s scary, but you’re brave. maybe they didn’t even notice. ilya pulls shane from the ether, guides him to wrap his arms around him instead. he lets shane slide to the floor and clutch at him, press himself into his body in a way that brings him comfort. he grounds him, gives him something to anchor himself to, gives him a place to unravel. shane’s walked alone for years and years, has learned how to buck up and go through things on his own. and ilya tells him he doesn’t have to. like. ever since we were 17, i’ve wanted to be where you are, to go where you go. just say the word. of course i will go with you. i’m right here. i’m always going to be right here.

something really really bittersweet about ilya correcting david to call him by his first name when david calls him rozanov. like. for years and years it’s been hollander and rozanov. big bad rozanov, the arch rival. but when shane and ilya finally come clean, ilya’s stepping into it completely. we’re lovers. i love your son. i’m not this cocky person you see on television, i’m not even the player you see on the ice, rozanov, 81, captain of the boston raiders. i’m not the guy you’ve cursed and badmouthed — i swear, that’s not all i am. i’m also the man that loves your son. this thing we have, i’m in it for the long haul. i want to be a part of your family one day, maybe. and so i want you to call me by my first name, the name my mother gave me, the name your son keeps safe in his mouth. ilya.

for season two i need ilya at hockey camp being followed around on the ice by a bunch of little kids in hockey gear like a mama duck and her ducklings while shane watches send tweet

being into some bullshit that nobody cares about and also is stupid really changes you